


Years Go By

by brinshannara



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/F, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Post-Season/Series 04
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-02
Updated: 2019-11-18
Packaged: 2020-11-15 13:02:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 27,679
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20866670
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brinshannara/pseuds/brinshannara
Summary: What if Alex was replaced by a white Martian for two years?





	1. The Call

**Author's Note:**

> As I watched the end of Season 4 of Supergirl recently, I wished (not for the first time) that the explanation for the drastic changes in Alex would be her having been replaced by a white Martian. Here's my attempt to see what that would look like. Spoilers through the end of Season 4 of Supergirl.
> 
> \---
> 
> When I published Chapter 4, I added the "Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con" tag to the story. No depictions of non-consensual sexual activity occur within this story and the references to it as an event that happened in the past are clearly marked. A warning exists for Chapters 4, 5 and 9.

Maggie finished chewing and picked up her phone, which was buzzing annoyingly. She blinked at the name.  
  
DANVERS, KARA  
  
Well, that couldn't be good news.  
  
She smiled an apology and answered.  
  
"Kara."  
  
"Hi," she said, "sorry to bother you. Can, uh... Can I stop by to talk to you for a minute?"  
  
It was bad news, Maggie deduced. It had to be. And it had to be about Alex. She looked up at her date. "Yeah," she said, roughly. "Where do you want to meet?"  
  
She assumed it was the hospital, the morgue, any number of awful places.  
  
"I'll come to you."  
  
It must be bad if Kara was going to fly to her. She exhaled, slowly, trying to calm herself down. She gave the location of the restaurant and Kara said she'd be there in five minutes.  
  
Maggie hung up and smiled apologetically again at her date. "I'm sorry," she said, "it's, uh, work stuff."  
  
Beth smiled back. "Rain check?"  
  
Maggie nodded and pulled out some cash, dropping it on the table. "This should cover everything," she said, standing.  
  
"Call me?" the blonde asked.  
  
"I will," she replied, promising something she wasn't sure she'd follow through on. She was numb, bracing for the news that Alex had gotten herself hurt, killed, kidnapped... She forced a smile and left the restaurant, waiting for the red streak in the sky to arrive.  
  
It was normal, she thought to herself. It had been nearly two years since they'd broken up, but she'd almost _married_ Alex. It was normal to still be terrified that something had happened. Wasn't it?  
  
Maggie sighed. She wasn't over Alex and she knew it. What kind of an idiot was still hung up on a woman who'd broken up with her two years ago? Her. She was. _She_ was that kind of an idiot. It's not that she hadn't dated, or even had some short relationships, but there hadn't been anyone who could even come close to Alex. No one who was as smart as Alex. No one who was funny like Alex. No one who cared the way Alex did about others. No one who promised to be there to help her heal.  
  
She exhaled. Whatever Kara had to tell her, it wasn't going to be good. And, doubtlessly, it would rip off the bandaid that was just barely holding her broken heart together. How could she brace herself against the onslaught of raw emotion that she knew was coming?  
  
Supergirl arrived a moment later, beckoning Maggie to the alley next to the restaurant.  
  
"Kara," she said, still determined to prove to the other woman that her Supergirl theatrics meant nothing to her.  
  
"Hi," Kara said, a touch of nervousness in her voice. She knitted her fingers together the way she did when she had her glasses on. "Uh, we, uh, we need to talk."  
  
"I'd gathered that," Maggie said, folding her arms across her chest.  
  
"Can I... It would be easier if I could fly you."  
  
She sighed. "Then do I get to know what's going on?"  
  
Kara nodded.  
  
"Fine."  
  
She scooped Maggie up effortlessly and they soared into the night sky.  
  
It wasn't the first time she'd flown with Kara, but it had been a long time. Were it not for the circumstances, ones that she suspected were dire, she might almost enjoy it.  
  
After a minute or so, they landed on the DEO balcony, just outside of the base's main operations area. Kara carefully put Maggie down.  
  
"What's going on, Kara?" she asked.  
  
The younger woman put her fists on her hips. It was a typical Supergirl stance, but Maggie saw the action for what it was -- an imitation of Alex putting her hands on her hips.  
  
"We discovered something yesterday," she said, clearly forcing her voice to remain level. "There... there was a white Martian."  
  
Maggie put her own hands on her hips. "Again?" she asked, still waiting for the hammer to fall, still waiting for Kara to tell her that Alex was dead or dying.  
  
She nodded. "And, uh... we discovered them shortly after martial law was lifted. And, we, uh, we found out that they'd been in place for a long time."  
  
Maggie frowned. "How long, Kara?"  
  
Supergirl's calm facade fractured. "A long time," she whispered, knitting her fingers again.  
  
"Kara."  
  
She cleared her throat. "A couple of years."  
  
Maggie's eyebrows rose. "A couple of years?"  
  
Kara nodded.  
  
She exhaled. "That's..." She shook her head. "I can't even understand that." She took a breath and looked Kara in the eye. "But you wouldn't have brought me here just to tell me that the DEO has had a white Martian inside of it for a couple of years."  
  
She shook her head.  
  
"Then why am I here, Kara?" she asked.  
  
"There's no easy way to say this," she said. "It... it was Alex."  
  
Maggie stood still, her mind whirring. "It was Alex?"  
  
Kara nodded.  
  
"_Alex_ was replaced by a white Martian."  
  
Another nod.  
  
"For _years_."  
  
Kara nodded again, tears starting to stream down her cheeks.  
  
"And no one figured it out?"  
  
She shook her head.  
  
The implications hit Maggie so hard she had to put her hand against the building to remain upright. "When?" she asked, not even looking at Kara. But she knew. She knew exactly when Alex had been swapped out. She knew the precise moment. It was when they'd been planning the wedding. Alex had been acting weird, squirrelly. She hadn't wanted to go to a tasting. She hadn't wanted a big wedding. All of her excitement had vanished virtually overnight.  
  
At the time, Maggie had taken Alex's excuse at face value, that she was missing her dad. She'd chalked it up to anxiety over the wedding. And then, as if that hadn't been enough, Alex had suddenly become completely obsessed with wanting kids. It had become a dealbreaker.  
  
They'd briefly chatted about kids before, but their life wasn't going to include them. It was going to be enough to have Gertrude. They had been on the same page.  
  
And then, Alex broke up with her, seemingly out of nowhere, desperate to be a mom.  
  
None of it had made sense at the time. Now, knowing that Alex had been replaced by a white Martian for two years... She exhaled. Now, it made sense.  
  
"It, uh, it was just before you guys, uh, ended things," she said.  
  
Maggie nodded. "Yeah."  
  
"She's... she's weak. Not feeling great. But you, um... you were the first person she asked to see."  
  
Maggie looked up at Kara, understanding why they were at the DEO. Alex was here. The real Alex. And she wanted to talk.  
  
She exhaled. "Take me to her."  
  
Kara nodded, wiping away tears, and together, they entered the DEO.  
  
She looked like shit. Skinny and pale, gaunt and fragile. Her hair had grown, down to her shoulders, but it was thin and stringy. She didn't know enough about how white Martians could keep someone alive but incapacitated. It seemed as though Alex's body had gotten the bare minimum of nutrients to survive. She'd lost so much weight and her muscles must have atrophied... She took a breath and entered the room where Alex lay on the bed, hooked up to an IV.  
  
"Hey, Danvers," she said, quietly.  
  
Alex's eyes fluttered open. "Maggie," she whispered. She reached her right hand out. It was a small movement, but she saw how much energy it took.  
  
"Hey, hey," she said, "I'm here." She walked to the bed and took Alex's outstretched hand, noting how thin it felt, how it could easily break with just a little pressure. "It's okay. Just relax."  
  
She shook her head. "No, it's not okay," she rasped. "I'm so sorry, Maggie."  
  
The words hit her squarely in the chest. "Hey, it wasn't you," she said, forcing a smile.  
  
"I'm sorry."  
  
"It's okay," she said, squeezing Alex's hand gently.  
  
"I'm so sorry, Maggie," she said, tears escaping. "So sorry."  
  
She knew, from the last time this had happened, that Alex would have at least some memory of what had happened. "Alex," she said, her voice a little more firm. "It's okay. I'm here. We can talk about... stuff... later. Okay?"  
  
She looked up at her, still silently crying. "Yeah?"  
  
"Yeah." Maggie forced a reassuring smile. "Right now, I just want you to worry about getting better."  
  
She smiled back, weakly. "Okay." She swallowed. "I... I know it's been a long time," she said, "so I understand if, uh, if things are different. But I love you, Maggie Sawyer," she whispered. "And I always will."  
  
She hadn't been prepared for that and her own unshed tears fell down her cheeks. She hadn't known how much she needed to hear that. "I know," she whispered. "Get some rest, okay? I'll be back in the morning."  
  
Alex gripped her hand. "Could you stay?" She looked up. "Just until I fall asleep?"  
  
Maggie smiled. "Of course."  
  
Less than ten minutes later, Alex's breathing was deep and regular. Maggie extricated herself from Alex's grip, kissed the other woman's forehead gently and left the room. She needed some answers.


	2. Blame

"How do you just  _ not notice _ ?" Maggie demanded of the room. She stared at the four agents and the colonel, incredulous. "You worked with her! You were in the field together!"

"In all fairness, Detective," the older woman began, "most of us here didn't know Director Danvers... before."

Maggie's eyes shot daggers at the colonel. Still, there was some truth to what she was saying. Winn was gone. J'onn wasn't the director anymore. There had been a lot of turnover at the DEO, no doubt orchestrated by the Martian.

Frustrated, she slammed her hand on the center console. " _ Someone _ should have realized," she spat.

"With respect, Detective," an agent she didn't recognize said, "without knowledge of how the director  _ should  _ have been acting, no one here could have realized that she wasn't acting the way she  _ would _ ."

"Yes, thank you, Agent Dox," the colonel replied, curtly. "Detective, I know you're upset—"

"Upset?" Maggie repeated. "You think I'm  _ upset _ ? Colonel, I'm  _ livid _ . My..." She cleared her throat, catching herself before calling Alex her anything. " _ Alex _ has been held captive for almost two years. Who knows what kind of literal torture she's been through? Who knows what the white Martian did to her? And what about your organization? What information did the Martian steal or manipulate? Do you think it's coincidence that anyone who worked here before is no longer assigned to this base?"

"It's true that the damage done to the organization may have far-reaching effects," the colonel conceded. "We'll learn more when we interrogate the prisoner. As to Director--"

"Hold on. You  _ captured  _ the Martian?" Maggie interrupted.

"Yes, it's at another facility awaiting interrogation."

"I want in on that interrogation." The words came out of her mouth without any thought. She needed to talk to the Martian. She had to confront it, had to confirm that it was the one who ended things between her and Alex. She had to look it in the eye for herself.

"Out of the question," the colonel snapped. "We've been more than accommodating, Detective. The Director requested your presence and, given her current state and your previous clearance, we allowed you to be brought in. But do not confuse that accommodation for classified clearance." She shook her head as Maggie opened her mouth to argue. "Not another word, Detective, or we'll have your access revoked and we will escort you out."

Maggie kept her mouth shut.

"That's better," Colonel Haley said. "You're free to come and go as you please to see the director, for as long as she's here."

"And how long will that be?" she asked.

"Given the muscle waste, the malnutrition, we estimate a month or so," said another agent she didn't know. "She'll need physical therapy to rebuild her muscles, she'll need special nutrients... Yeah, at least a month," she said. "Then, more physical therapy and exercise."

"And for her psychological trauma?" Maggie asked.

"We have someone here," the colonel assured her. "Daily sessions while she's here, to be certain."

She nodded. "Thank you," she said. To her surprise, she meant it. Knowing Alex was in good hands meant that she didn't have to worry. Well, she'd worry anyway, but at least she knew Alex would be getting the best care possible. "I guess I'll be back tomorrow," she said and shook hands with the colonel.

"Detective?" the colonel said, as she turned to leave.

"Yes?" she asked, turning back.

"We'll take care of her," she promised.

"You'd better." With that, Maggie left the room and pulled her phone out of the back pocket of her jeans. It was 10:42. Kara had gone flying off somewhere to deal with some emergency that could probably have been handled by the police, but Maggie suspected Kara was willing to do anything to avoid her and this whole situation.

She walked back to the restaurant where she'd left her motorcycle and then, as she was driving home, decided to make a detour.

As she walked up to the door marked 4A, she took a deep breath. She hadn't been at Kara's since... She paused. Was it the wedding shower? She blinked, suddenly, remembering how nervous Alex had been about the trivia game.

Or, rather, how the  _ Martian _ had been so nervous about being asked trivia about Maggie. It made so much sense, in hindsight.

She pushed past those memories and realized the last time she'd been here had been that girls' night, with Lena and Sam and Kara.

All that time, Alex had been... She took a breath. It was a lot to adjust to.

She shook her head and knocked on the door.

A moment later, Kara answered, dressed in her pajamas, no glasses on. Of course, she would have used her X-ray vision to see who was at the door. No point in putting on a disguise if she didn't need one, after all.

"Hi," Kara said, quietly.

"Hey," she replied. "Mind if I come in for a minute?"

Kara opened the door fully and, with more light coming in from the hallway, Maggie could tell she had been crying. She stepped inside and Kara shut the door behind her.

"Get you something to drink?" she asked. "Beer? Scotch?"

"I'm fine for now," she said, thinking to herself how she'd probably have a couple of drinks when she got home. She turned and looked at Kara. The Girl of Steel looked completely drained, weak... wrecked. "I need to know what happened."

She nodded and sat down at the table and indicated to Maggie to have a seat.

"We, uh, we were at J'onn's last night," she said. "God, I can't believe it was just last night..." She drummed her fingers against the tabletop. "We were playing games, you know?"

"I remember game nights, yes," Maggie said.

"And J'onn wouldn't let me and... Alex... be on the same team."

She nodded.

"So I was teamed up with Lena and Alex was with Kelly and--"

"Who's Kelly?" Maggie interrupted.

"Oh, God."

Maggie got it. "Oh. There was another woman in the picture."

Kara nodded. "Anyway, long story short, we finished playing, Lena left, Brainy and Nia left and so it was just me and James and Kelly and Alex and J'onn."

Maggie nodded, not wanting to interrupt the story to learn who Nia and Brainy were.

"And, well, I guess there's still a lot of anti-alien sentiment out there, because the next thing we knew, a molotov cocktail comes in through the front window of J'onn's and lands right in front of Alex and Kelly." She sighed. "Or who I thought was Alex." She steepled her fingers in front of her face. "Did you know that flame will reveal a Martian? Force them out of their shapeshift?"

Again, Maggie nodded, suddenly grasping what had happened.

"So as I'm putting out the fire with my breath, I look up and I see..." She exhaled. "I see the being I  _ think _ is my  _ sister _ revert partway to its natural form." Her lips tightened and Maggie could tell Kara was trying not to smash something. "It looked over at me and had the nerve to  _ smile _ as it threw Kelly at me and then it turned to escape out the smashed window."

Maggie nodded grimly. "Kelly's okay?"

"Yeah. Knows I'm Supergirl, though, and I guess trying to come to terms with the fact that her brand-new girlfriend  _ isn't _ my sister." she sighed. "I'm glad James was there to help explain."

"Is she close with James?" Maggie asked. She found herself concerned about this woman who had found herself romantically entangled with the imposter.

"He's her older brother."

"Oh," Maggie said. "Got it." It was clear to her that it was going to take some time to catch up on the happenings within the group and how things had changed over the years.

"Anyway, J'onn went after the Martian, I finished putting out the fire and then went after them both. We had a fight in the alley behind J'onn's place and were able to subdue it and we brought it to the DEO." She shook her head. "It... it taunted me, Maggie." She rubbed at her face with her hands. "It told me I was a horrible person for letting them get away with it for so long." She took a breath. "It told me I was a horrible sister."

In all honesty, Maggie had the same thoughts. How could anyone let this happen, let this continue, for so long?  _ Someone  _ should have realized and that someone was Kara. Or J'onn.

She tucked away those feelings and decided not to add on to Kara's guilt. "It was trying to get under your skin," Maggie said, gently. No matter how much she might agree with the Martian, blame wasn't going to fix things. Blame wasn't going to rewind the past two years. Telling Kara that she should have known wasn't going to bring Alex back to health. Nothing was going to give any of them two years of their lives back.

"Well, it worked," she said, frustration evident in her voice. She stood up and paced. "I keep wondering how I didn't know."

"And?"

Kara stopped and exhaled. "I... You know, there was the whole losing Mon-El thing, so, frankly, I was caught up in my own stuff right at the start." She sighed. "And then there was going to Earth One and stuff."

Maggie raised an eyebrow.

Kara shook her head and dismissed it with a wave of her hand. "You know, parallel universe, nearly died to an evil version of me, yada yada yada, we came back safely."

She snorted. "Did you just  _ yada yada _ a near-death experience?"

"Trust me," Kara said, "it's a really long story." She sat back down. "And then Mon-El came back and was  _ married _ , then there was Reign..." She sighed. "I knew she was acting differently, but I thought it made sense. Breaking up with you, almost dying, Reign attacking her... You know, it was a lot. It would have been a lot to deal with for anyone."

Maggie frowned. "Reign attacked her?"

Kara nodded. "Though I guess it makes sense that she could break a leg like that, even a white Martian's leg. But I guess it did heal relatively quickly..." She threw her head back and groaned. "I should have  _ known _ , Maggie."

"Listen, Kara, whether anyone should have known or could have known, none of that matters. What matters is that Alex is safe, now, right?" She considered. "How did you find her?"

She sighed. "The Martian had been planning it for a while, I guess, because it rented the apartment above Alex's. And that's where it was keeping her, to ensure she was close enough to draw upon her memories."

"Jesus. She was right upstairs?"

"Yeah," Kara confirmed. "Close enough that the psychic connection would have been active if the Martian was downstairs. She would have been aware of just about anything that happened."

Maggie exhaled. "I can't even imagine what that must have been like for her. To know that an imposter was taking over her life, that it was making huge changes." She forced herself to swallow. "To know all that and be completely helpless to stop it." She looked at Kara. "We're going to have to be there for her as she recovers."

She nodded and then frowned. "Wait, uh... are... are you going to be there for her, too?"

It was a fair question. It had been nearly two years since the breakup. Kara didn't know what Maggie had gone through in the interim. She didn't know if Maggie had created a new life for herself. "I'll be there until Alex tells me not to be," she assured her as she stood up. "I should go. But I'm going to take some time off for the next few days. See you around the DEO, I guess?"

"Yeah," Kara said, "I'll be there."

Maggie nodded. "Goodnight, Kara."

She arrived back at her apartment, exhausted from the night's events. She didn't respond to a text from Beth, the cute blonde with whom she'd been having dinner. Instead, she got washed up and changed almost in a daze, before gratefully crawling into bed. Tomorrow, she'd visit Alex. She smiled. It had been a long time since the thought of seeing Alex had made her happy. She was asleep within minutes, a smile still on her face.


	3. Comfortable Silence

Maggie woke up early, as she usually did. She glanced at the clock in the still-dark room. 6:42am. She yawned and stretched and then everything from the previous night came crashing down on her.

"Holy shit."

It seemed absolutely impossible, like a bad dream. Frowning, she grabbed her phone and winced as the screen lit up. Squinting, she scrolled through her text messages.

_ DANVERS, KARA _

That settled that, she decided. Everything that she thought might have happened last night did, in fact, happen.

She blinked, realizing that meant that Alex really had said that she still loved her. She forced herself to sit up and shook her head, trying to clear it. Regardless of how Alex might still feel about her, or even how she felt about Alex, the important thing was that Alex was safe. The priority was making sure she got healthy. She sighed. Her ex-girlfriend had been emaciated, gaunt, weak, had been through a horrific experience. Now wasn't the time to deal with their relationship.

Maggie paused.  _ Was  _ Alex her ex-girlfriend? If Alex hadn't broken up with her… if that had been the Martian…

"It's too early for an existential crisis," she muttered to herself and got up to take her shower and, more importantly, have a coffee.

***

Maggie had stubbornly put all questions about the status of her relationship out of her mind and arrived at the DEO around eight. It was surreal to be allowed in with just a quick glance at her identification. She made her way up to the room where they were keeping Alex, unescorted, unquestioned. It was as though she'd travelled back in time, to a point where Alex's authority was enough to let her walk the halls, unchallenged.

She turned the corner, her coffee in one hand and a mild tea for Alex in the other. She wasn't sure if Alex was on any kind of dietary restrictions, so she'd picked up a tea that Alex used to have every so often instead of coffee. It was odd how certain little things never quite vanished from her memory. Alex liked sleeping on the right side of the bed. Rocky Road was her favourite ice cream flavour. Blue was her favourite colour. These details, and a thousand more, were indelible marks in her mind, and they always would be.

She considered, as she continued walking. Could she remember any of those details about Emily? The only thing that came to mind was that Emily slept on the same side of the bed as Alex, but was that because Maggie herself preferred the other side, or had Emily expressed a specific preference for it? She couldn't remember. Memory, Maggie decided, was a strange beast.

She took a breath and walked down the hall to Alex's room. The glass dividers allowed her to see Alex was alone in the room and asleep. Maggie gazed at her, watching her chest rise and fall slowly. She followed the intravenous line coming from Alex's left hand, leading up to no less than three bags of fluid. She stepped closer to the door and used her hip to push it open. Quietly, she moved towards the bed and put the hot drinks down on the nearby table, while taking a seat next to the bed.

Alex still looked awful. It was to be expected, of course, but it was still unnerving. She looked as though she'd aged ten years in the last two. Not that Maggie cared much about that. She was more concerned that Alex eventually get healthy, that she work through the psychological trauma she'd experienced. It was just the most visible symptom of her… her what, her captivity? Abuse? Maggie shook her head. The problem with this line of work was that conventional terms often left something to be desired when discussing various unconventional situations.

She took a sip of her coffee. It was oddly reassuring to be in Alex's presence. One of the ways she'd known her relationship with Alex had been different from all the others she'd been in was how comfortable they were with one another. Just being near one another, even in silence, was something she'd loved. While Alex would read, Maggie would do some paperwork related to a case. Or maybe Alex would be doing some research while Maggie trimmed her bonsai. They had never felt the need to fill uncomfortable silences with chatter, mostly because there were almost no uncomfortable silences between them.

Even this silence, as Alex slept, wasn't uncomfortable. Were it not for the location, Maggie could almost imagine it was a regular Sunday morning, where she'd gone on a coffee run and then two of them would then lounge on the couch before getting brunch around ten.

Almost.

Back then, back before everything had fallen apart, Maggie wouldn't have thought twice about taking Alex's hand in her own. She wouldn't have hesitated to push Alex's hair out of her face. After she'd been kidnapped by that guy from Midvale, she'd done all of those things and done them easily. Today, she was keeping her distance. She didn't think Alex would mind if she held her hand, but she was reluctant to take any actual choices from her, after what she'd been through.

By the time Maggie was halfway done with her coffee, Alex finally stirred.

She found herself smiling at the somehow still-familiar motions. First, there was the denial that she was waking up, characterized by a furrowed brow or a frown. That crinkle in between her eyebrows appeared, which she still found ridiculously adorable.

Next, Alex would turn her head from side to side, trying to move away from any source of light. The room was dim, but wasn't dark, and the lights were everywhere, so Maggie knew it was just a matter of time before Alex gave up and allowed herself to become conscious.

A moment later, her right arm went up to cover her eyes. It was the final stage. Except…

"Fuck," Alex muttered.

There it was. The swearing. If Alex woke up without wanting to, it almost always came with some profanity.

"Good morning, sunshine," Maggie said, gently.

Alex moved her arm and, squinting, looked over at her. "I… I, uh, didn't realize you'd be here." Her voice was rough, hoarse.

"Do you want me to go? I can go," Maggie said, getting ready to stand. Maybe she shouldn't have come.

"No," Alex responded, her voice a bit stronger, her right hand coming out to hold on to Maggie's arm. "Stay," she said. "Please?"

"Of course," she said, relaxing. She put her right hand over Alex's. "Of course."

"Thank you."

"Got you some tea," she said, unable to think of anything else to say.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. It's still warm, too," she said, closing her hand around it. "Want some?"

She nodded and Maggie brought it to her, helping her hold it as she took a small mouthful.

Alex sighed contentedly. "That's so much better than I remember it."

Maggie set the cup down on the table again. "I imagine that'll be the case for a lot of things."

Alex nodded and slipped her hand into Maggie's. "Yeah." She looked up at her. "How are you doing?"

"Me? How are  _ you  _ doing?" she asked, squeezing gently.

"I'm fine," Alex said.

She looked at her and just laughed. "Nerd."

"Guilty."

Maggie smiled at her. "You don't have to talk about it."

"Good."

"I get it," Maggie said. "But if you do want to talk about it, with me… I'm here. Okay?"

"Thanks," she said, squeezing her hand lightly. She cleared her throat. "I… I know what happened with, uh, with the Martian… and with you… I know that it ended things."

Maggie nodded.

Alex took a breath. "So, uh… what's… what's new in your life?"

She quirked a grin, knowing that Alex was trying to ask her if she was seeing someone, but trying not to be that direct about it. "If you want to ask me if I'm in a relationship, you can just ask me, Alex."

The other woman flushed. "Busted."

Maggie smiled. "You can ask me anything."

Alex looked grateful as she looked up and met Maggie's eyes. "Are, uh… are you dating someone right now?"

She shrugged. "I've been dating around. I was at dinner on a first date with a woman named Beth when your sister texted me about all of this."

Alex nodded as she took in the information.

"So no, I'm not in a relationship right now." She lightly squeezed Alex's hand. "I've been in exactly two short relationships, over the last couple of years. But, you know," she said, smiling, "once you've found the person you're meant to be with, no one else ever really feels right."

Alex smiled up at her. "I want you to know, Maggie, I never would have broken up with you."

She closed her eyes, letting the declaration wash over her.

"The idea of kids… Sure, it's interesting. But if you don't want kids, then I don't need kids."

That was how this conversation was supposed to go, two years ago. She wasn't supposed to lose the person she loved most in the world over some hypothetical child. She felt her eyes filling with tears and opened them. "You know I'm a… I'm a different person now, Alex," she said. "What I've been through has changed me. And what you've been through has to be even more life-changing. We're not the same people we were two years ago."

Alex bit her lip and looked down, nodding.

"We… we can't just pick up where we left off… you know, _before_."

"I know," she whispered.

"But," Maggie said, "I want to be here for you. And I want us to get to know each other all over again. Okay?"

"Okay," Alex said, looking up at her again. "I've missed you so much."

"Me too, Danvers," she said. "Me too."

The door to the room opened and in walked a blonde woman with a clipboard. "Sorry to interrupt," she said, "my name's Steph and I'm going to be Alex's physical therapist for the next while." She smiled. "You must be Detective Sawyer?"

She nodded. "Physical therapy already?" Maggie was slightly concerned. "Isn't that a little soon?"

"Muscle waste is very serious condition and the sooner we get started, the better," she said, approaching them. "I've been briefed on the, shall we say, unusual situation, and my colleagues have had Alex on fluids to help nourish her intravenously." She looked at Alex. "How's your appetite?"

She shrugged. "I had some tea, which was nice, but I'm not really hungry."

Steph nodded. "Yeah, I can't imagine you are. We're going to start you in on food slowly, but soon you'll be off the IVs and eating normally, all the while building up your muscles."

Alex exhaled. "It's going to suck, isn't it?"

Steph smiled. "Probably."

"Well, on that note, I should probably go," Maggie said. "Let you get to work."

"Okay. Will you come back later?" Alex asked.

"Sure thing," she said. "You got this, Danvers." She squeezed Alex's hand once more before letting go.

"Thanks," she said. "See you later."

Maggie smiled and waved as she left the room. Let the healing begin.


	4. Encounters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: There is discussion of non-consensual sexual activity in this chaper. It's not descriptive and the activity doesn't occur in this story. It does, however, make an impact on how the characters react to various events that occurred in the past.
> 
> You can skip this, if you like, by stopping at the line with the three asterisks in it (***) and then going to the bottom of the page to read the end notes, where the plot point will be briefly summarized.

She'd always liked J'onn. He'd been a comforting presence, he was great in a fight and he was kind. Alex had loved him and some of that had rubbed off on Maggie. That he had been planning to walk Alex down the aisle was, in a word, perfect. She had been thrilled to discover that he'd step in for Jeremiah.  
  
Maggie had seen him, every so often, in the intervening years, both at crime scenes and just by chance. They'd smiled and waved and a couple of times had made some small talk. It was clear that J'onn's allegiances were to Alex, as they should be. But he'd never been rude or mean. He'd always been polite, and she felt as though he wished the best for her.  
  
"John Jones," she read aloud, smiling, as she reached her destination. She swung the door open and walked into the office, looking around.  
  
"Be down in a moment," J'onn's voice called from the second floor.  
  
"Take your time," she called back.  
  
"Maggie?" He appeared, leaning over the railing.  
  
"Hi," she said.  
  
"Maggie, it's good to see you," he said, coming down the stairs. He walked up to her and embraced her. "What brings you here?" he asked, as he pulled away.  
  
"You probably already know," she replied.  
  
"Alex."  
  
She nodded. "Alex."  
  
He sighed. "Have a seat," he said, indicating the couch. "Pardon the state of the window." He waved his hand towards the boarded up bay window that faced the street.  
  
"Yeah," she said, "I heard." She sat down and he pulled up a chair to sit across from her. "What can you tell me?"  
  
He shook his head. "I suspect you already know most of what I do. A white Martian posed as Alex for almost two years." He paused. "Does that make sense to you? In terms of timing?"  
  
She nodded. "The lack of excitement over the wedding happened almost overnight. And then, out of nowhere, she suddenly needed to be a mom." She sighed. "The timing lines up, even though I haven't asked Alex to talk about it yet." She looked over at him. "J'onn, I just don't understand how no one discovered Alex, _Alex_, had been replaced."  
  
He sighed. "My telepathy isn't a power I use actively, most of the time," he said. "That is what you were getting at, I presume?"  
  
She shrugged. "If anyone could have known, it would have been me, Kara or you. And she — the Martian — got rid of me as quickly as possible."  
  
J'onn nodded. "I've spent the last day or so wondering if I could have known." He stood and took a few steps. "I try not to use my powers, particularly not to pry."  
  
"You've done it before," she pointed out.  
  
"And I learned from that," he acknowledged. "It was difficult, knowing Alex was gay before she did. I stopped doing it, even when I'm worried about the people in my life." He gave a small smile. "Humans and their reluctance to talk about what's upsetting them…" He rolled his eyes and sat back down. "On Mars, that's not an issue."  
  
"Right, the bond?"  
  
He nodded. "There is one thing that's been bothering me."  
  
"What's that?"  
  
"Were you aware that Supergirl wasn't working with the DEO for a large part of the last year?"  
  
She frowned. "No. I remember hearing the announcement that Supergirl was a terrorist, after the attack on the White House, but nothing about the DEO."  
  
He nodded. "They fired her from the DEO for refusing to reveal her identity."  
  
"That's ridiculous!"  
  
"You've met Colonel Haley?"  
  
She rolled her eyes. "Yes."  
  
"President Baker had Haley put in charge of DEO oversight and then Kara wouldn't reveal her identity, so Baker fired her."  
  
"That's still silly," Maggie argued. "How many people from the DEO know that Kara is Supergirl? It was practically an open secret when… well, back when I was still in the picture."  
  
"There weren't that many who knew that Kara was Alex's sister," he said, "not by then, anyway. I suppose the Martian had already transferred many of them to other locations, the better to hide their true identity."  
  
She nodded. "Sounds plausible."  
  
"Well, Haley brought in a truth seeker to figure out her identity."  
  
"A Vertullarian?"  
  
"Yes," he said, nodding.  
  
She gave a low whistle. "Wow, pulled out all the stops. So did she find out?"  
  
"Well, that's the thing — Alex, or rather the Martian, asked me to wipe their memory of Kara's secret identity."  
  
She frowned. "And did you?"  
  
"I did. They were adamant I do it to protect Kara."  
  
Maggie paused, trying to make sense of it. "But if you were wiping their memories of Kara being Supergirl… wouldn't you have been able to tell that it wasn't Alex?"  
  
"I would have," he said, firmly. "Definitely."  
  
"Okay, something's not making sense, J'onn. What am I missing?" She clasped her hands together and leaned forward.  
  
"I have a memory of modifying Alex's memories. Mostly memories of Alex and Kara, from their childhood. There were even some conversations with you that I changed." He sighed. "I remember changing them. I remember how difficult it was, because so much of who Alex is comes back to her relationship with her sister."  
  
Maggie raised an eyebrow. "But if it was a white Martian… J'onn, how is that possible?"  
  
His face turned grim. "What if," he said, "what if the altered memories were _mine_?"  
  
She gasped. "Is… is that even possible?"  
  
He sighed again. "I think that's the only explanation. I'd altered the memories of a few DEO agents that day, and they'd all left. It was just Kara, Alex and me here, in the office."  
  
"Wouldn't Kara have noticed?"  
  
He shook his head. "Kara was upset with Alex, or rather, the imposter, so she left before I started the process."  
  
"Upset? Why?"  
  
"It's likely to do with the fact that the person she thought was her sister would forget about this core aspect of her life. Alex has been Kara's confidante since Superman first left her with the Danvers. To remove that constant, even to keep Kara's identity a secret, was very difficult. It would be an understatement to say they disagreed about the plan."  
  
She considered that for a moment. "So you suspect that, once Kara left, the Martian rewrote your memories instead of the other way around?"  
  
"It's the only thing that makes sense," he said. "I have such… such a strong, visceral memory of altering Alex's memories, Maggie."  
  
She sat back. "Is there any way you'd be able to tell if they had altered your memories?"  
  
"Maybe," he said, "but it would require another Martian to meld with."  
  
"I see." She tilted her head to the side. "J'onn, do we have any idea why a white Martian would take Alex's place for so long? Any idea as to their motivation?"  
  
"Not as far as I'm aware. The Martian seemed perfectly content to remain in place and likely wouldn't have revealed themselves were it not for the firebomb."  
  
She nodded, then considered how to phrase her next question. "Is it... is it weird that the Martian was dating James' sister?"  
  
"I think the relationship was very new," he said, "so it's feasible that they were trying to play the role of being a gay woman." He deliberated for a moment. "Alex — the Martian — hadn't dated much. I suspect that it was mostly for show. The Martian might have simply been opportunistic, taking advantage of Kelly's apparent interest."  
  
She nodded. "J'onn," she began, "I need—"  
  
"That's not a good idea," he warned.  
  
Her eyebrow raised. "Are you reading my mind?"  
  
"No, but you want to talk to the Martian, don't you?"  
  
"Am I that predictable?"  
  
"I think you want some answers, answers that only the Martian can provide."  
  
"I guess I am that predictable," she said, with a small smile.  
  
"Have you already asked Colonel Haley?"  
  
She made a face. "The colonel kind of threatened to restrict my access, despite Alex's wishes, if I pressed the matter."  
  
"That sounds like her," he admitted. "Your best bet is to ask Brainy to help."  
  
"Brainy?"  
  
"You may have met him as Agent Dox," J'onn explained. "He’s a member of the Legion, from the future."  
  
It clicked for Maggie. "Oh, the guy who took Winn's place, after Winn left, right?"  
  
"Indeed. You knew Winn left?"  
  
"Winn texted me to say goodbye. He and I sort of kept in touch, so he wanted to tell me he wouldn't be around." She laughed. "For some reason, I didn't think he was being literal about going to the future until you mentioned it just now."  
  
J'onn smiled. "He never was one for subterfuge when he could just be honest," he said. "At any rate, if you go to the DEO, ask for Agent Dox. If anyone can help, it'll be Brainy."  
  
"Gotcha," she said. She stood and moved towards the door. "It's a strange situation, but I'm glad we had a chance to talk."  
  
"Me too," he said, walking towards her and holding out his arms.  
  
She took a couple of steps and hugged him. "Thank you," she said.  
  
"Be careful with Haley," he replied, as he let her go.  
  
"I will," she said, with a smile.  
  
"And tell Alex, if you see her, that I'll be by tomorrow."  
  
"She'd like that." She opened the door and smiled. "Thanks again."  
  
As she walked down the street, she pondered how odd it was that she still felt as though she could speak on Alex's behalf. They might not be able to pick up right where their relationship had left off, but some things still came naturally.  
  
***  
  
It was around four in the afternoon when Maggie headed back to the DEO. She'd finished up some paperwork at the station ahead of her two weeks of leave, done various errands and was now prepared to spend as much time as Alex wanted with her at the DEO. Her lieutenant had been surprisingly understanding when she'd texted him after seeing Alex the previous night. Maggie had been pretty devastated after the breakup, so she supposed it wasn't entirely shocking that he had been so understanding.  
  
She walked into the DEO and showed her identification to the guard before being allowed access to the lobby. Maggie then walked through the atrium and hit the button for the elevator. She wondered how Alex's physical therapy had gone as she watched the elevator descend to the ground floor.  
  
The doors to the elevator opened and, to her surprise, she saw a familiar face.  
  
"Maggie?" James asked.  
  
"Hey," she said, smiling, stepping back to let him and the woman he was with get out of the elevator. She looked at the woman and it clicked for her. This was Kelly.  
  
James reached for her and they hugged. "It's good to see you," he said. "Uh, this is… this is my sister, Kelly Olsen. Kelly, this is Detective Maggie Sawyer of the NCPD."  
  
Maggie held out her hand to Kelly and the other woman took it in a firm grip. "Ah," she said, nodding. "You and Alex were, uh…"  
  
"Engaged," she said.  
  
"Right."  
  
James cleared his throat. "Guess you're here to visit Alex?"  
  
She nodded. "You?"  
  
"Being debriefed by the DEO on the situation," he said.  
  
"I had wanted to see Alex," Kelly added, "but I realized that she doesn't even know who I am," she said, with a bit of wistfulness in her voice. "If… if the real Alex is anything like the Martian's impersonation of her, then you're a lucky woman, Maggie."  
  
"Hey, now, just because we were engaged two years ago doesn't mean we're still together," she said, holding her hands up. "It’s complicated and it'll be a long process to get through all the stuff that's happened to both of us."  
  
Kelly nodded. "How are you doing after the revelation?"  
  
Maggie shrugged. "It's weird to have Alex back in my life, if that's what you mean."  
  
"No, I…" She cleared her throat. "I meant the implications of having spent time with the imposter."  
  
She frowned. "What do you mean?"  
  
Kelly looked at James and then back towards Maggie. "The timeline would suggest that you spent a few weeks living with the Martian."  
  
"Yeah…"  
  
"Maggie, I don't mean to make trouble, really, I don't," she said, "but were… uh, were you intimate during that time?"  
  
She realized what Kelly was saying, the implication crashing down upon her, a chill racing down her spine. Her eyes widened.  
  
Kelly exhaled. "I'm sorry," she said.  
  
The meaning of what Kelly was saying was unthinkable. They'd had sex. But it hadn't been Alex. "I don't even have words for this," she said.  
  
Kelly dug into her purse. "Here," she said, handing Maggie her card. "It might be a bit weird," she acknowledged, "but if you want to talk… Call me, okay?"  
  
She looked down at the card. A psychologist. Well, that might not be the worst idea in the world. Her mind was spinning. "Thanks," she said. "I appreciate it."  
  
Kelly nodded. "I mean it. Call anytime."  
  
Maggie nodded back and hit the button again before tucking the card in her back pocket. "Yeah. Uh, okay. I, uh… I'm going to go, I guess," she said.  
  
"See you soon?" James asked, as the elevator arrived.  
  
She nodded and stepped into the empty elevator car. "Yeah,” she said. “Bye.” She felt foggy, her brain working overtime. The doors closed, and she hit the button for Alex's floor.  
  
Maggie walked down the hallway, heading for Alex's room. She could see from the hallway she wasn't alone. Kara was there, as Kara, which made sense, given the fact that she likely still didn't want to share her identity with the DEO.  
  
She pushed the door open. "Hey," she said, her voice cracking a little.  
  
"Hey," Kara said.  
  
Alex, however, frowned. "Are you okay?"  
  
Maggie bit her lip and shook her head.  
  
Alex turned to Kara. "I'll see you later, all right?"  
  
Kara frowned but nodded. "See you later. Bye, Maggie." She stood and walked out the door.  
  
Maggie sat down in the chair by Alex's bed and forced herself to breathe.  
  
"You can talk to me," she said. "It's okay."  
  
"Alex, when… when did it happen? When, exactly, did the Martian switch out with you?"  
  
"The haircut," she said. "I went to get my hair cut and right after…" She cleared her throat. "That's when."  
  
"Jesus," she said, remembering that day. It was right around when she'd thought it had happened, but specifying the day somehow made it even more real.  
  
"What is it, Maggie?"  
  
"I was, uh, living with the Martian for… five weeks? At least?" She swallowed and looked over at Alex, tears overflowing and starting to roll down her cheeks.  
  
Alex reached out her hands to take Maggie's.  
  
"I… we…" She cleared her throat. "We had sex," she said, her voice rough.  
  
Alex nodded. "I know," she said, squeezing Maggie's hands.  
  
"But…" She exhaled. "What… what does that even mean?" she asked. "I thought it was you. I thought it was you and so of course I consented." She sniffled and wiped her face against her sleeve. "I even _initiated_ it! Most of the time!"  
  
Alex nodded.  
  
"But… if that wasn't you… what does that mean?"  
  
"It means," Alex said, her voice trembling, "that it assaulted you."  
  
"But that's ridiculous!" she insisted. "I enjoyed it! I started it!"  
  
"You didn't _know_, Maggie," she said. “It wasn’t _informed_ consent.”  
  
"Does that even mean anything?"  
  
"What I think doesn't matter," Alex said. "How do you feel about it?"  
  
She exhaled. "When… when I think about it, like, rationally, it's gross. I feel gross."  
  
Alex nodded again, squeezing Maggie's hands.  
  
"But when I remember those moments, I remember laughing. Having fun. Feeling good." She shook her head. "It's like I… I can't associate the act, those memories, with that knowledge."  
  
Alex's face was grim. "You know what the worst part of my experience was?"  
  
Maggie wiped her face on her sleeve again. "What?"  
  
"It was that," she said. "I was right upstairs. The Martian was drawing on my memories of you, of us, and using them to make you think it was me."  
  
Maggie exhaled. "You witnessed it."  
  
"Pretty much," she said, tightly. "I couldn't do anything about it. I couldn't warn you. I couldn't stop it." The tears began to flow. "I'm so sorry, Maggie."  
  
"It's not your fault," Maggie said, crying. She pulled her hands free and sat on the bed and wrapped her arms around Alex.  
  
"I'm sorry," Alex repeated, bringing her arms up to encircle Maggie's waist.  
  
Maggie just held on. "We'll get through all of this," she promised, still crying. "We'll get through it together."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you skipped down here after stopping partway through the chapter, here's what happened:
> 
> Maggie runs into James and Kelly at the DEO and the discussion leads to Maggie realizing she'd been assaulted by the Martian impersonating Alex. Kelly gives her a business card, imploring her to call anytime.


	5. Starting the Work

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Once again, there is discussion of non-consensual sexual activity in this chaper. It's not descriptive and the activity doesn't occur in this story.
> 
> You can skip this, if you like, by starting to read at the line with the three asterisks in it (***). The plot point will be briefly summarized in the end notes.

Alex's first therapy session was scheduled for nine in the morning on Monday, so Maggie had set up a meeting with Kelly for the same time. Neither of the women enjoyed the concept of working things out in therapy. Their conversation, however, had convinced both of them it was almost certainly the best course of action.

She arrived at the address Kelly had provided just before nine in the morning, coffee in hand, and rang the bell.

She answered the door with a smile. "Good morning, Detective," she greeted her, opening the door all the way. "Won't you come in?"

"Please," she said, "call me Maggie." She entered and Kelly shut the door behind them.

"Maggie," she repeated. "Come on, this way. Can I get you anything?"

She hefted her extra-large coffee. "I've got something, but thanks."

Together, they walked down the hallway to the room that served as Kelly's home office. It was a standard-sized room, in muted earth tones, with a desk and a laptop set up at one end, facing the windows. The sitting area was the clear focus of the space, consisting of a couple of chairs, a couch and even a reclining chair. It was bright, with sunshine pouring in through the many windows on the far wall.

"Nice office," she remarked.

"Thanks," Kelly smiled. "Have a seat," she said, hand outstretched towards the sitting area.

"Should I sit somewhere specific?"

"Wherever you want."

She nodded and walked over to the couch, sitting on one end, opposite a chair which is where Kelly sat down a moment later. "Before we get started," she said, "I wanted to say I was glad to get your call. I didn't mean to be indelicate or anything when we saw each other at the DEO yesterday."

Maggie nodded. "I, uh… I hadn't even thought about the implications," she said.

"And," Kelly added, "I also wanted to say I'm still working out things for myself, too. You and I are probably the only people who have had this… unique experience, shall we say?"

"I hope it's helpful," she said. "Do you… uh, I mean, do you mind if I ask you what…" She exhaled. "How long did you believe you were dating Alex for?"

She nodded. "It's okay, you can ask me anything and I'll tell you if you're asking too much," she smiled. "I started becoming friends with Alex, or rather, the Martian, back a few months ago, when my brother got shot."

"James got shot?!" Maggie exclaimed.

"Yeah. This whole thing with Lex Luthor and…" She waved her hand, dismissing it. "Anyway, that's when we met. And we grew closer with time. We'd run together some mornings, have movie nights, that kind of thing. And it was the other night, the night where we discovered that  _ wasn't  _ Alex, that we kissed." She chuckled weakly. "I had told her, right before game night, that I liked her, didn't want this hanging out to come to an end. Anyway, uh, what, four hours later, I discover that the woman I've been falling for is a white Martian."

"God, I'm sorry," Maggie said. "This is a fucked up situation for everyone."

"Isn't it, though?"

"It really is. And Alex was aware just how fucked up it was. At least, uh, with what happened with me. It's why, when I first saw her, she apologized to me. Repeatedly." She sipped at her coffee. "I figured she was apologizing for the breakup. Like… that's all I'd dreamed about for ages afterwards. Alex coming back to me and telling me she'd made a mistake, and I was the love of her life." She shook her head. "And meanwhile she's apologizing for…  _ that _ ."

"Do you want to tell me more about what she's apologizing for?" Kelly asked.

She took a breath. "Tell me, are you at all familiar with white Martians and their telepathic abilities?"

"Explain it to me as though I'm five."

Maggie smiled. "So, a white Martian can shape-shift into whatever form they please, same as a green Martian."

"Like J'onn."

"Exactly. And, as with a green Martian, they're psychic. But, what we discovered a couple of years ago is that they can put someone in a state of… let's call it hibernation. And in that state, the person can't move or speak. They're not even fully conscious. But if they're close enough to the Martian, the Martian can access the memories of the victim and the victim knows what's going on, if they're in close enough proximity."

Kelly considered it. "Okay. So if I'm understanding this right, the real Alex would be aware that I would be at her apartment and eat popcorn and drink wine and watch movies, since she was upstairs?"

Maggie nodded.

"But she wouldn't be cognizant of my confession to the Martian, because they weren't close enough."

"Right," she said.

"Got it."

Maggie had another sip of her coffee. "So Alex, the  _ real  _ Alex, apologized to me because, uh…" She cleared her throat. "Because she was aware that the imposter and I were intimate together."

"Do you hold Alex responsible?"

"For what happened to me? Of course not."

"So why is Alex apologizing?"

"Because she  _ thinks  _ she's responsible. It's… it's a very Alex thing, I guess," she said. "She was… she was trapped. And forced to watch, uh… the interactions between me and the imposter."

"I see," said Kelly. "That would be difficult in the best of circumstances. Certainly this is far from the best circumstances."

"Yeah," Maggie said. She sighed and took another sip of her coffee.

"And how are you doing?"

She drew in a breath. "It's weird. It's…" She let out a breath. "I'm sorry, therapy's never really been my thing. I, um… I'm not great at talking about things," she said.

"It's okay, Maggie," she replied. "This is your time. You can guide the conversation however you like." She paused. "You made this appointment for a reason, so…"

"… so maybe we should start there," Maggie finished, nodding. "Yeah." She cleared her throat again. "It's, uh… it's strange. I can remember that time and it still seems like it's Alex. Even if, logically, I know it wasn't her, it still  _ seemed  _ like her."

Kelly murmured in agreement, as she jotted down a couple of notes on her pad of paper.

"The Martian… smelled like Alex. Even, uh, even  _ tasted  _ like Alex," she said, reddening a bit. "She — it — knew my body. And I knew… theirs?" She gave a weak laugh. "I don't even know what pronoun to use."

"Whatever's easiest for you," she assured her. "I'll understand."

"Thanks." She tilted her head back a bit and looked up at the ceiling. "I remember the imposter's voice. Their breath in my ear. Their body beneath me and above me. And none of it seemed like it  _ wasn't  _ Alex. But it wasn't Alex?" She shook her head. "It's like my rational self knows this but those memories still seem like they're her. There was nothing, except a little odd behaviour, that made me think it wasn't her. The… the Martian's duplication of Alex was  _ uncanny _ . Her own mother wouldn't have been able to tell them apart." She stopped. "Shit, I didn't even think about Eliza. I'm sure she couldn't tell, either, not if I couldn't, if Kara couldn't, if J'onn couldn't."

"Eliza is… Alex's mom?"

She nodded. "Yeah, she lives in Midvale and sees Alex and Kara once or twice a year, usually around Thanksgiving and again in the spring. I mean, I'm sure Kara's told her, but…" She exhaled. "This has affected so many more lives than I'd imagined."

"Right. But we were talking about you."

Maggie looked over at Kelly. "You're good, not letting me get off track."

"Comes with hours of practice," she smiled. "So you said that it was uncanny."

"Yeah," she said, "it was. And I can't… I just can't tell my memories hey, that's not Alex. It just won't let me. Everything about those memories is screaming that it was her. For all intents and purposes, it  _ was  _ Alex."

"Except it wasn't."

She cleared her throat and took another drink from her coffee. "Except it wasn't."

"So your rational mind, you said, seems to understand it wasn't Alex, right?"

"Yeah."

"So going over that information in your mind, without trying to attach it to those memories, how does that make you feel?"

She shivered. "It sucks."

Kelly smiled. "Yeah," she said, softly. "It sucks. But how do you  _ feel _ ?"

"Gross. Just super gross about it."

"Go on."

"I just… I stood there in the shower this morning for a full half-hour. Just letting the water pour over me."

"Why?"

She shook her head. "Nope. I can't. I can't do this."

"Hey, it's okay," she said. "I'm here, Maggie. You can trust me."

Her eyes met Kelly's, and she appreciated the compassion in the gaze. She sighed. "Gross. Gross and guilty. I should have known. My fiancée got replaced by a doppelganger and was being held against her will and I should have  _ known _ ."

"How? By your own account, you say it was uncanny. Down to the most intimate details."

She put the coffee down and stood up, pacing, running her shaking fingers through her hair. "But I  _ loved  _ her. How could I  _ not realize _ ?"

"It was a very effective disguise," she countered. "You couldn't possibly be expected to see through it."

"What kind of partner doesn't realize that her lover is replaced by an alien? For weeks?" She shook her head. "It's my fault, I should have known, and even though it's gross that the Martian and I were… together… I mean, that's just my fault for not realizing it wasn't Alex."

"So you think you deserve that?"

She gave the slightest shrug. "I don't know."

"I don't know isn't a good answer. I don't know stops you from digging further. Do you think you deserve what happened?" she pressed.

She didn't answer, she just shrugged again, looking away, her eyes starting to water.

"No one deserves that. For any reason. That was assault, Maggie."

"But I  _ started  _ it."

"With someone who wasn't who you thought they were."

"But I  _ should have known _ !" she exclaimed, getting angry. She sat back down on the couch, hard. "God, it's so stupid," she muttered. "My mind just keeps going in circles."

"What if we turned the tables?"

She swallowed a mouthful of coffee. "What do you mean?"

"What if you were the one the Martian had impersonated?"

She frowned.

"What if Alex had been living with the Martian for five weeks? Would you blame her for not realizing it wasn't you?"

"Of course not."

"So why are you blaming yourself?"

Her eyes went wide.

A kind smile and an understanding nod was all Kelly offered, but Maggie realized that there was a lot of work ahead of her, and it wasn't going to be easy.

***

She left Kelly's office and was a little off-kilter after such a difficult conversation. She pulled out her phone and texted Alex. "Therapy sucks."

"You're not kidding," came the quick response.

"You have any dietary restrictions right now?"

"Can't eat much solid food yet and no alcohol."

"I'll be there around lunch with a pint of Rocky Road," she sent.

"Sounds good. Oh and it better not be that vegan crap! That might just do me in."

Maggie laughed. "Fine, Danvers. Just for you, I'll get the real stuff."

"<3"

Despite everything, she smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Maggie goes to Kelly for a therapy session and clearly holds herself responsible for her assault. Kelly works to make her understand it's not her fault, especially not for not realizing it wasn't Alex.


	6. Progress

Over the course of the next two weeks, Maggie had seen Kelly nine more times. Meanwhile, Alex also spoke with a psychological trauma specialist at the DEO daily, in addition to her twice-daily physical therapy. Both women were dealing with things better than they had previously. They were on the mend, although they didn't talk about their therapy sessions with each other very much.

Physically, Alex was improving. She was back to eating solid food, though the portions weren't too large yet. Her stomach had shrunk with disuse, but at least she could eat again. The first couple of attempts hadn't gone well, with Alex getting sick more than once, but she'd eventually powered through it. Her doctors had decided that most of her meals should be a special energy bar of sorts, packed with plenty of protein and other nutrients. It would help her to gain some weight and rebuild her muscles. While important to consume protein and such, Maggie had spent the better part of the last two weeks listening to Alex complain about how the bars tasted like cardboard.

"Would it kill them to add  _ any  _ flavour to them at all?" she'd often say.

So Maggie had spoken to one of the agents overseeing Alex's case. That was how, on this Friday evening, Maggie found herself at the DEO with a pizza and two beers.

A smile on her face, she walked into Alex's room and then stopped at the doorway, surprised not to see her. Alex was probably finishing up her physio, she told herself, but her heart still started beating faster. The more Maggie had delved into what had happened, the more anxious she was when there was a disruption of her routine, especially when it had to do with Alex.

She placed the pizza and the beers down on a far table and then sat down in the chair next to Alex's bed and closed her eyes. She took a deep, relaxing breath, drawing air in for four seconds, holding for four seconds and then exhaling for four seconds. She repeated it a couple of times. It was a trick she'd learned from Kelly on remaining calm. Though she knew perfectly well that Alex was fine and in good hands, she still didn't like it when Alex wasn't where she Maggie expected her to be. She was well-aware it wasn't rational, and it was one of the things she was working on in therapy. In the meantime, there were coping mechanisms, like deep breathing. Breathing always seemed to calm her down.

"Well, that sucked," Alex grumbled as she wheeled into the room.

Maggie opened her eyes. "What happened?"

Alex navigated the motorized chair to the far side of the bed and waved off Maggie's attempt to help transfer her from the chair.

She watched as Alex, clad in standard-issue DEO sweatpants and a t-shirt, hoisted herself to a — well, it wasn't quite a standing position. She was upright, but she was definitely leaning against the bed, while bracing herself on the chair. Carefully, she rotated, with somewhat jerky motions, to allow herself to sit down. Breathing hard, she lowered herself on to her left side and brought her legs up to the bed, before then using her entire body to turn herself over.

She blew out a breath and wiped her brow with her forearm, before she fumbled for the bed control. She hit the buttons, bringing the head of the bed up so she was sitting almost straight up.

"Getting faster," Maggie said, smiling.

"Yeah, yeah, just call me Barry Allen."

She grinned at Alex. It was a good sign that her sense of humour was still intact. "So what happened in the session?"

"Walking is hard," she complained. "I fell flat on my ass twice and once right on my face." Alex reached up and tenderly felt at her nose. "Didn't bleed, so I think it's fine, but it's still a little sore."

"Want me to kiss it better?" Maggie teased.

"Yes," Alex said, overly petulantly.

Maggie laughed and stood up. She gently cupped Alex's left cheek with her right hand and, standing on her tip-toes, slowly leaned over. She hovered over Alex, enjoying the closeness, allowing their natural chemistry to play for a moment before placing the lightest of kisses on the tip of Alex's nose. "Better?" she asked, pulling back.

"Much."

Despite their comfort with one another, they hadn't resumed their relationship. Maggie was there twice a day, every day, for a few hours in total. They sent each other good morning and good night texts, as well as messages throughout the day. Still, they hadn't agreed that they were dating or together.

It wasn't that Maggie didn't want to, but both she and Alex realized it would be a big shift. Plus, neither of their therapists thought it wise to jump into a sexual relationship. Maggie hadn't been able to resist teasing Kelly about being jealous. In the end, Alex and Maggie had largely tried to keep things mostly platonic, though they couldn't help some flirtatious banter or chemistry-filled moments.

"Hungry?"

"Ravenous," she replied.

"I brought pizza."

"Oh, you are my favourite person."

"I know," she grinned. She walked over and brought the pizza and beer from the far table to the over-bed table. "Beer?" she asked, twisting a cap off and offering it to her.

Alex looked at it longingly. "Maybe a bit," she said. "I haven't had alcohol in, like two years, so…"

Maggie nodded. "Go slow." She put the bottle down on the far side of the table for Alex to reach easily, then opened her own. She held the bottle up. "To… rediscovering normalcy?" she offered.

"I'll drink to that," Alex agreed, clinking the bottle necks together. She took a small sip and put it back down. "Do not let me drink more than a quarter of that," she said to Maggie.

"Got it." She opened up the pizza box and handed Alex a slice before taking one for herself. "I've been looking forward to this all day."

"Me too," Alex said. "The, uh… the company, I mean. Just so you know."

"I know," she said, smiling and watched as Alex took her first bite.

Alex closed her eyes and leaned her head back on the pillow as she chewed. "This is beyond delicious," she said, around her mouthful of pizza.

"Better than what they normally have you eating?" Maggie asked.

She nodded. "I get that the protein bars, or whatever they are, are good for me and specially designed to help with rebuilding muscle, but it literally tastes like cardboard. With a weird aftertaste." She made a face. "Thank you for this," she said, hefting the slice.

"Anytime, Danvers." She took a bite of her pizza and chewed pensively. "So I go back to work next week."

"Already?"

She nodded. "What about you? What's the latest?"

Alex finished the last piece of her crust and chased it with a swig of her beer. "Still stuck here for at least another week," she said. "Possibly two." She sighed. "It's the walking. It sucks. And it hurts."

"The doctors said that's because you're regaining strength in your legs now. You went through the same thing with your arms."

"Yeah, but my arms aren't responsible for keeping me upright," she countered. "So it was less annoying. But my quads and hamstrings are always either sore, on fire, or are tingling." She rubbed at her right thigh.

"Which is it now?"

"Sore and tingly."

"Did they zap you today?" Alex's doctors decided against putting her on anabolic steroids to improve her muscle growth. Instead, they had decided to use functional electrical stimulation. It served as a more natural way to help her muscles remember how to work.

She nodded. "Earlier, yeah." Alex picked up her second slice of pizza. "I don't mind them zapping my muscles. It's kind of cool to see them jumping underneath my skin."

"I'm just glad to see any evidence of muscles at all," Maggie joked.

Alex swallowed her bite of pizza. "I talked about that in therapy today."

"Ooh, I'm sorry," Maggie said, "I didn't mean to—"

"It's fine," she said. "It…" She cleared her throat. "It just kind of sucks because it's not going to be enough to be able to do regular activities. I was in great shape."

"Yeah, you were," grinned Maggie.

Alex laughed. "Obviously, you would know, yes," she said, smiling. "It's just… a lot of work ahead," she said. "And I'll do it, you know? I'm not afraid of hard work. It's… I guess it's discouraging."

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step."

"A single step, unassisted, would be great," Alex countered.

She nodded. "Fair point."

Alex could only finish most of her second slice and only had a bit more beer before asking Maggie for some ice water.

She nodded and headed to the cafeteria where she loaded up one of the reusable water bottles with a lot of crushed ice and cold water. On her way back up to Alex's room, she caught sight of someone she'd been meaning to chat with.

"Hey, Brainy, right?" she asked.

"Yes, that is a designation many appear to use for me," he agreed.

"Do you prefer something else?"

"Brainy will suffice. Can I do something for you, Detective Sawyer?"

"Wow, right to the point. Okay," she said, "I was wondering if you might be able to help me out."

"I can certainly help you."

"You don't even know what I'm going to ask you."

"There is a 98.2% probability that I can aid you with whatever you require. Whether I would do so remains to be seen, and that is what is ultimately dependent on your request."

She blinked at him. "Okay, so, uh… I need to get to the desert base to see the white Martian. Preferably alone."

"Colonel Haley expressly informed you that is out of the question," he said.

"Yeah, but I kind of have a personal history with that Martian. And so does Alex. And I'd just like to talk to it for a few minutes. Alone."

He peered at her. "Ah, you require closure after your experiences."

"Am I that transparent?"

"I am a 12th level intellect. It was a fairly facile deduction."

She resisted the urge to roll her eyes. "So will you help me?"

"I do not believe that would be a wise course of action," he said.

"Well, I guess J'onn was wrong." She sighed and started back up the stairs.

"Wait one moment. What do you mean?"

She smiled to herself and stopped, turning around to face him. "J'onn said that if anyone could help me, it would be you. I guess I'll just have to tell him that he was wrong."

"I most certainly  _ can  _ help you, Detective," he countered, "but I  _ should  _ not."

"Does it matter if you  _ can  _ help me if you  _ won't  _ help me?"

He paused at that. "That is an interesting question," he admitted. "Detective, I will contact you in the coming days."

"So you'll help me?"

"I will contact you," he said.

"I guess it's better than nothing," she said. "Thanks, Brainy."

She headed back to Alex's room, ice water in hand, only to find Alex had fallen asleep.

"Guess it's been a bit of a long day, eh, Danvers?" she asked, softly. She quietly cleared the pizza and beer from the table and swung it around so it wouldn't be in Alex's way. She placed the bottle of ice water on it, within reach for her. She placed Alex's phone on the table, too, then covered Alex with a light blanket. "Sleep well," she whispered, pressing her lips to Alex's temple. She straightened up and left the room, dimming the lights as she went.


	7. Baby Steps

Over the last two weeks, Maggie had spent another good chunk of time in therapy, talking to Kelly about her feelings, her fears and her hopes. She was back at work, so there had been fewer appointments. Kelly was great about dealing with Maggie‘s schedule and, as a result, Maggie was feeling better. There were still things she was coming to terms with, but she was feeling a lot more like herself than she did a month ago.

One thing that hadn't changed was that she  _ needed  _ to face the white Martian and confront it. She wasn't sure what she wanted to say, just that she knew she had to see it for herself. Brainy, to his credit, had run through a bunch of scenarios and given her probabilities of success. It was up to her when to visit the desert base with him. It wasn't something she'd shared with Kelly or with Alex, knowing that Kelly would certainly disapprove. Alex, on the other hand, would probably want to join her and Brainy on the trip to the other facility. Brainy had pointed out that might be the optimal scenario. After all, if Director Danvers gave an order, the only one who could override her was Colonel Haley, who was presently in Washington. This weekend could be a good opportunity, if Alex was game.

Of course, questions swirled around Alex's authority. Everyone had operated under the assumption that Alex was the director of the DEO for the last year, but the real Alex hadn't gotten a promotion to director. It was one thing to have the  _ title  _ of director and yet another thing to  _ be  _ the director. Alex wasn't sure she even  _ wanted  _ the promotion.

Frankly, it gave Maggie a headache.

She parked her car outside the DEO and walked in, carrying pizza and another two beers, which had become their Friday night routine. The first time Alex had eaten pizza, back a couple of weeks ago, had indicated that perhaps it was a little too much for Alex's delicate digestive system. She'd persevered, though, and was eating real food more often than not. Last week's pizza hadn't caused any issues, so they'd elected to do it again. For her part, Maggie liked it. She spent some time at the DEO most days, but it was during the weekends that she could spend more time with Alex. Friday nights had become something to which she could look forward.

She hit the button for the elevator and waited, watching it come down the thirty or so floors. When the doors opened, she laughed.

"Hey, pretty lady," Alex said, a grin on her face. She was wearing DEO sweats and a t-shirt, as usual, a walker in front of her. She was standing up straight, leaning back against the elevator wall, trying not to support herself on the walker. "Going up?" she pointed.

"Nerd," she laughed, stepping into the elevator and pushing the button. "Up and about, are we?"

As the doors closed, Alex nodded. "Still stuck with this thing," she said, rattling the walker for emphasis, "but I'm getting faster and I can go farther than I could earlier this week."

"Good job," she said. "I'm so proud of the hard work you're doing, Alex."

"Me too," she nodded. "Just wish it were going a bit faster."

"Patience is a virtue," Maggie said, then laughing at the scowl on Alex's face.

Without warning, the elevator lurched to a halt and the emergency lighting went on.

"Oh, come on," Maggie muttered, stabbing at various buttons on the panel, with no effect.

Alex pulled her phone out of her pocket and dialed a number. "No answer. Phones and comms must be down." She dialed another number and put it on speaker.

"Director Danvers," Brainy answered.

"Brainy, I'm stuck in the elevator with Maggie. What's going on?"

"Uh… I… I am unsure as I am not currently at the DEO."

Alex frowned. "Well where are you? Can you get here?"

"I am currently engaged in a romantic outing with Nia Nal."

Maggie chuckled. "Wait, are you and Nia on a date?"

"Indeed, Detective."

"It's fine, Brainy, we'll handle it!" Maggie said, hanging up the phone, despite Alex's attempt to grab it back.

"What did you do that for?"

"Oh, come on. It's cute, don't you think? Let them have their fun."

"It'd be a lot cuter if we weren't trapped in an elevator," she grumbled.

"Relax. Call your sister." She handed the phone back.

"Pretty sure she was going to the Fortress," Alex replied. Again, she put the phone on speaker.

"You've reached the voicemail of Kara Danvers of CatCo magazine. Please leave a message. Thanks!"

Alex sighed. "Kara, when you get a chance, do you think you could swing by the DEO and rescue me and Maggie? The power seems to have gone out, not sure what happened to the backup generator, and we're stuck in an elevator." She hung up and thought about it. "Let me try Vasquez."

"Good idea."

She called the agent, hoping she was on duty over at the desert facility. She hit the speakerphone button as it rang.

"Director Danvers, how are you doing?" Vasquez cheerfully asked.

"Hey," Alex replied, "I'm mostly okay. Listen, can you tell me if there's anything up at the downtown facility? Maggie and I are stuck in an elevator. Power's down, emergency backups seem to be down, too."

"Ooh, yeah, one sec," Vasquez replied. "Yeah, I've got a message here from Agent Reiff saying that everything's down. It seems as though it's localized to just a couple of city blocks."

"So we're not under attack or anything?" Alex asked.

"Nah, just National City Power being terrible," Vasquez confirmed. "I'll let Agent Reiff know you two are in the elevator. Shouldn't be too long," she said. "Which elevator are you in?"

Maggie set down the pizza and beer and used her phone's flashlight to see the number, printed on a metal plate near the top of the left side of the car. "We're in elevator Beta 2-7-4," she said.

"Copy that, Beta 2-7-4," Vasquez repeated. "Any idea what floor you're near?"

"Not a clue," Alex said, "and I'm not exactly in good enough shape to climb through the ceiling hatch to find out."

"Could Maggie?"

Alex laughed.

"What?" Maggie frowned.

"You're too short."

"I…" She looked up. "Okay, maybe I'm too short."

Vasquez chuckled. "It's okay, don't worry. I'll text you with updates, okay?"

"Sounds good, Vasquez, thanks," said Alex. She ended the call and eased herself down to sit on the floor of the car. "Well, at least the DEO isn't under attack."

"And at least we have food," Maggie pointed out, sitting down next to Alex, pulling the pizza and drinks towards them.

"And each other," Alex smiled.

"Yeah," she agreed, "and each other."

They each took a beer and a slice of pizza and dug in.

***

It had been 42 minutes. Most of the pizza had been devoured and Maggie had finished her beer, while Alex had permitted herself a half of her bottle. It was starting to get warm in the elevator. Maggie took off her jacket and settled back against the wall next to Alex.

"How's your stomach?" she asked.

"Should be okay. No odd rumblings yet. I guess eating actual food instead of that cardboard stuff is helping."

"Good," she said. "Any word from Vasquez?"

Alex checked her phone. "Not yet. Nothing from Kara, either."

"Great."

"What's the matter, bored by my company already?" Alex chuckled.

"You know that's not the case," she admonished. She sighed. "I just want things to go how I'd planned." She brought her knees up and rested her forearms on them, clasping her hands together. "This whole… breaking from routine thing is something I've been struggling with."

"I get it," Alex said. "We need to get better at adapting to change again, I think."

Maggie nodded.

"So tell me, what were you planning tonight?"

She shrugged.

"No, really. I want to know."

"It's silly."

"Please?" she asked.

She leaned back, resting the back of her head against the wall and looking up over the elevator door. "I wanted to come here and see you and spend some time with you, eating and drinking and laughing. You know? Just trying to regain some sense of normalcy?"

"Well, you're here. I'm here. We're spending time together," Alex started. "We've eaten." She held out her left index finger. "We've had something to drink." She held out her left middle finger. "We've laughed." She held out her left ring finger. "Looks like we ticked all the boxes."

She laughed. "But not in an elevator."

Alex shrugged. "We still did all of those things. And we were together."

Maggie rolled her head to her right and looked at Alex. Even in the dim, emergency lighting, she could see Alex's cheesy, hopeful smile.

"You're a dork, Danvers."

"Yeah. But I'm a cute dork."

"Very cute," Maggie said, gazing into Alex's eyes. They still hadn't crossed the line. They'd danced around it a lot, but neither had initiated something like a kiss. It was exhilarating, to be this close to her. It had been so long. She could feel the heat of Alex's body against the right side of her own. Her right shoulder was up against Alex's, their upper arms touching. It felt like she was burning in those spots, catching fire. She dropped her gaze to Alex's lips. It would be so easy to just… She exhaled and moved her head away. "Sorry," she said.

"For?"

"Everything."

"Maggie."

She sighed. "For not being ready."

"Hey," she said, "it's okay. The way I see it, we're two very good friends who care about one another a lot. And, you know, are also hopelessly attracted to the other."

Maggie laughed. "I have to admit that's pretty spot-on."

"Right?" She grinned. "If we want to act on that, we can. If we don't, we don't have to. I'm okay with whatever you want."

"Yeah?"

"I mean, I do think you'll eventually be unable to help yourself and will succumb to my charms…" She grinned. "But even if you don't, Maggie, I want to be part of your life for a very long time. I'm not going anywhere."

The first thought that entered Maggie's mind was that  _ she had _ gone somewhere. While she'd almost gotten over her anger at herself for not noticing the Martian had replaced Alex, she was getting angrier at the Martian for it.

"What?"

Alex was too good at reading her, Maggie decided. "I… I, uh, I need to go confront… it."

She frowned. "The Martian?"

A nod. She couldn't even look at Alex.

"Why?"

"Closure?" she answered, still unsure. "I just need to see it. Need to vent at it. Yell at it." She sighed. "I'm just so  _ angry  _ at it for messing up my life. For what it did to me. For what it did to you. I'd love to kick its ass, but I don't think I can actually take on a white Martian on my own."

"Well, you let me know when and I'll come with you. I have a few things to say to it, too," Alex said, her voice firm.

"Brainy, uh, well, Brainy said that this weekend would be ideal, because the only person who could override your orders is Colonel Haley."

"And Haley's in Washington this weekend." Alex nodded. "Deal. When?"

"Tomorrow? If we ever get out of this elevator?"

"Sounds good." She considered. "What's your therapist say about it?"

Maggie snorted. "As if I'm going to tell my therapist that I'm going to confront the Martian." She turned to face Alex. "What's yours say?"

"If you think _ I'm _ telling  _ my _ therapist, then I have a beautiful property on Krypton to sell you."

Maggie laughed. "Do you think it's a problem neither one of us wants to tell our therapists about this?"

"Probably," she said, "but I learned a long time ago that it's usually better to ask forgiveness than permission."

"Huh," Maggie said, "that… that would explain a lot."

Alex laughed and nudged her with her elbow.

She reached down and grabbed Alex's left hand in her own. "I'm glad we're on the same page."

"Ride or die, right?"

She smiled. "Right." They were going to do it. Tomorrow. Together.


	8. Too Easy

It had only taken a few more minutes of being in the elevator before they'd been rescued. Maggie then had spent some more time with Alex before taking the stairs down and heading home.

It was three in the morning and she still hadn't slept, as she tried to come up with the words for what she'd say when she'd see the Martian. How could she even express what she felt? What she had lost? What it did to her and to Alex? How many repercussions came from it all?

"You got rid of me because you were scared of me," was the only phrase she'd come up with. What would the Martian even say to that? Would her words hurt the Martian the way it had hurt her? No.

Was this confrontation even a good idea? Almost certainly not, she had to admit.

But Alex would be there. And they'd face it together.

It was that knowledge that allowed her to drift off to sleep at all.

***

She arrived at the DEO just after one in the afternoon. She hesitated in pushing the button for the elevator but did it anyway and it was with a great sense of relief when she arrived on the correct floor just a few moments later.

Maggie arrived at Alex's room and found it empty. With a frown, she stepped out, looking around for Alex.

And then she heard it. There was some yelling.

"I said, that's an order!"

She recognized the voice and hurried down to the main command center, where she found Alex glaring at an agent, while Brainy looked on.

"Hey," she said, "Alex, what's going on?"

"Agent Anderson here thinks she can decline to follow my orders." She looked as though she wanted to pick up the walker and bash the agent with it.

"With all due respect, ma'am," the dark-haired agent replied, "I can't let you leave the facility."

"I am your superior officer and I am  _ ordering  _ you to let me leave!"

"I can't do that, ma'am, I'm sorry."

Brainy pulled Maggie aside. "It would appear that there are unforeseen problems," he said.

"I thought you had gone through all the possibilities?"

"I seem to have left out one key variable in my ruminations."

"Oh?"

"I had left out the possibility that Colonel Haley has instructed everyone to ensure that the director not leave the base. Agent Anderson is the agent in charge with Haley in Washington and Alex in her current state."

"So what, am I a fucking  _ prisoner  _ here, Anderson?" Alex demanded.

"Christ." She sighed and went over to Alex and the other agent. She gave Alex a look and turned to the agent. "Hi," she said. "Maggie Sawyer, NCPD."

"Yes ma'am," she said, "I know who you are."

"Great." She sensed Alex moving to her left and, without even thinking, put out her hand to rest on Alex's shoulder, as though to tell her to relax, to calm down. "So what's the issue here, can you tell me?"

"I'll tell you—" Alex started and then stopped when Maggie shot her a look.

"I was asking Agent Anderson. Is that okay?"

Alex just glared, but relented.

"Agent Anderson?" Maggie asked, turning back to her.

"We are under strict instructions not to let Director Danvers leave the facility," the agent said.

"Right, I'm gathering that. Why is that?"

"Colonel Haley left the order before she left for Washington."

"I see. Why did she leave that order?"

"It doesn't matter why, ma'am," Anderson replied. "An order is an order."

Maggie squeezed Alex's shoulder, not even looking at her. "Do you know why Director Danvers wants to leave the DEO for a short time?"

"No, ma'am."

"Well, I need Alex to consult on something with me. There's a suspect I need her to talk to with me." She smiled. "What if I promise to bring the director back, in one piece, in the next three hours?" Three hours would cut it close. It was a minimum of 45 minutes out to the desert base and another 45 minutes back. Then whatever nonsense they'd have to endure at the desert facility…

"I don't know," the agent said. Maggie could feel victory within her grasp.

"Listen, the colonel will never find out. And the director will certainly have wonderful things to say about you in your file. Won't she?" She turned to Alex and squeezed her shoulder for emphasis.

"Uh, yes, I mean, your dedication is admirable, Anderson, and I appreciate you holding fast to the colonel's orders for my benefit," Alex said. "I'll definitely have some good things to add to your file during evaluations."

"Three hours?"

"Three hours," Maggie confirmed.

The agent sighed. "Three hours," she repeated. "Okay. I'll sign off on it."

"Thank you, Agent Anderson," Maggie said, sincerely.

"Thanks," Alex said, after Maggie squeezed her shoulder again, prompting her.

***

The three of them piled into Maggie's car, with Alex up front with Maggie and Brainy in the middle seat in the back.

"So, first obstacle down," Maggie said. "What's next, Brainy?"

"We must drive to the desert facility. I have already input our forthcoming arrival into the database at that facility. I have further taken measures to ensure that the entry does not get backed up to the cloud servers or any other government facility."

Even Alex looked impressed. It meant that the main DEO computer system wouldn't have any record of the appointment at the desert base.

"So what, we just drive up and they'll be expecting us?"

"Indeed, they are expecting myself, Director Danvers and a member of the National City Police Department," he confirmed.

"Think we'll have any problems getting to the prisoner?" she asked.

"I do not believe so," he replied. "There is an 89.72% chance that Colonel Haley would not have thought we could circumvent her orders to leave the downtown facility."

"That's a 10% chance that she thought about it," Alex pointed out.

"Yes, however there is only a 1.833, repeating, of course, percent chance that Colonel Haley would have taken measures to prevent you from reaching the Martian."

"Let's get this show on the road. I have two hours and fifty-three minutes to get you back here, Danvers."

"Okay, what are you waiting for?" Alex asked.

"One of you two to give me the directions. Its location is secret and classified, remember?" she grinned.

Alex laughed while Brainy sent the coordinates to the GPS and then, they were on their way.

***

Maggie was nervous as she drove up to the base, following Alex's instructions to get to the entry gate. Would they be expecting the three of them?

It only took a few seconds for the agents on guard duty to check their identification and let them through, so Maggie continued on to the underground parking lot that Alex directed her to.

"Is it really going to be that easy?" she asked, putting the car into park and turning it off, pulling the key out of the ignition.

"I do not expect any problems in entering the base and seeing the prisoner," Brainy said. "I predict less than a 0.2% chance of our plan failing."

She looked at Alex, who shrugged. "I mean, I'm the director, Brainy's a high-level operative. What, are they going to say no to us?"

Maggie took a breath. Something didn't feel right. Still, they were here. It was game time.

They all exited the car and headed towards the entrance for the actual facility with Alex still using the walker for assistance. One at the entrance, they assigned Maggie a visitor's badge, while Alex and Brainy had their IDs scanned and, to Maggie's utter shock, they were let in without issue. As they rode up the elevator to the base's main floor, she leaned over to Alex. "I'm nervous."

She turned and smiled. "It's okay," she said. "We're on my turf. It'll be okay." She took Maggie's hand in her own and squeezed it. "I promise."

She squeezed back and nodded, letting go as the doors opened and allowed Alex and Brainy to go first.

"Director Danvers, welcome back, ma'am," said a familiar-seeming woman with short brown hair. She snapped a salute and smiled.

Maggie knew her, but her name escaped her. She hadn't been at the wedding shower, had she? She was sure this woman had been on the invitation list for the wedding, so Maggie should have known her name. Susan? Susan something?

"Agent Vasquez," Alex grinned, foregoing a salute and extending her arms for a hug.

_ Vasquez _ , she nodded to herself.  _ Right. Susan Vasquez. _

"Agent Dox," she nodded to Brainy, after Alex released her. Vasquez then looked over at Maggie. "Maggie, it's so good to see you again," she said, giving her a quick hug.

"Uh, yeah, same here," she said, smiling. They must have met at some point, but when? Maybe at the downtown DEO? She gave a mental shrug. The important thing was that Vasquez was a friendly face here and, seemingly, the agent in charge.

"Can I offer you anything?" Vasquez asked. "Terrible coffee, tap water, stale doughnuts?"

Alex looked confused.

"You, uh, you might want to add more resources to the desert facility budget when you're back at full strength, boss lady," she grinned. "We get by, but it's not pretty."

Alex laughed and Maggie joined in. "I think we're okay, thanks," Alex said, still chuckling.

"Don't blame you," Vasquez said. "So, shall we get to it?"

Maggie frowned.

"Get to what?" Alex asked.

"Seeing the prisoner? I mean, that's why you're all here, after all." Vasquez replied.

Alex cleared her throat. "Sure."

Maggie looked at Brainy and nudged him. "Did your entry into the database mention why we were coming?" she whispered, as Alex and Vasquez started walking ahead of them.

"No, Detective, I had not mentioned it," he whispered back. "There is now a 72% probability that we are not already aware of something important."

"Yes, thank you, Captain Obvious," she muttered. Something was up. She knew it.

"I shall interface with the system here."

"Yeah, you do that." She was worried. First, Colonel Haley hadn't wanted Alex to leave the downtown base, now the desert facility wasn't only welcoming them with open arms, but knew why they were here? Something didn't make sense.

Together, they ambled through the underground tunnel that led to the lockup area. An agent who had been stationed at the controls for the holding system came over to welcome Alex back, leaving Maggie and Vasquez to chat for a moment. That gave Brainy a bit more time to look for a clue to what they were missing as they continued to access the system.

"So, uh, are you and the director…?" asked Vasquez.

"Are we what?"

"Back together?"

Maggie's eyebrows rose. "Uh, kind of? We're not really sure," she replied.

"Ah," Vasquez said.

"Why?"

She shrugged. "Just wondering. She's not my direct supervisor anymore, so…" She grinned, her meaning clear.  


"Well, I don't blame you, obviously," she managed to laugh.

"But message received, not to worry," Vasquez nodded. "So how did she talk you into this, anyway?"

She raised an eyebrow. "Talk me into what?"

"Seeing the prisoner."

"I decided it was a good step for me," she said. "You know, getting some closure and stuff."

"Detective," Brainy said, "may I speak with you?"

The agent nodded. "You're braver than I am."

"Detective," he repeated.

"Uh, that's doubtful," she said to Vasquez. "Just a sec."

"Yeah, go ahead."

"What?" she asked, taking Brainy a couple of steps away.

"I have determined why we are being welcomed."

"And?"

"It is… not good."

"Use your words, Brainy."

"A week ago, the desert facility filed a report with Colonel Haley, stating that the interrogation of the white Martian had come to a standstill. It would not respond to any attempted tactics for information."

"And?"

"It had one request. That you interrogate it."

"Excuse me?" Vasquez's words started to make sense to her.

"The white Martian will answer questions if you are the one to ask them and if the two of you are alone in the same room."

"Brainy…" Her head was spinning.

"Colonel Haley responded with, and I quote, 'not only no, but fuck no, I am not putting a civilian in that situation. Find another way.'"

Maggie blinked, surprised that Haley would have responded like that.

"They have, thus far, been unable to do so and the white Martian is resisting all efforts unless you are the one posing questions."

She exhaled. "That's why they welcomed us. That's why we didn't need any subterfuge here. They thought I had agreed."

"Indeed, Detective."

She looked up at him. "Well, I guess I've got to do it, don't I?" She set her jaw and turned back to Vasquez.

"That may not be the wisest course of action," Brainy said, following her.

"So what questions do you need me to ask? Or are they just the ones I would have asked, anyway?"

"Just the usual — why are you here, what's your mission, who sent you. That kind of thing," Vasquez said. "If you're okay with it, Maggie."

She nodded. "As long as I can ask some of my own questions, too."

"By all means. Now, just so you know, we've got it imprisoned in a center cell in the room that it can't break out of, but we can't do anything about its other powers. It might not be an easy encounter," she warned.

Maggie nodded. "Got it." She took a breath. "Well, best get it done, right?" she said. "Let's go."

"Detective," Brainy said, "I do not believe you should enter the cell."

"It'll be fine."

"What's that?" Alex said, coming over to them, the walker grinding as it slid over the metal flooring. "What'll be fine?"

She smiled at her and stood in front of her, her back to Vasquez and whispered. "Play along."

"Okay," Alex answered.

"Well, you know, me interrogating the white Martian, alone, for the DEO, as per its demands," she said, more loudly, for Vasquez's benefit.

Alex's eyes went wide.

"Trust me," she whispered to Alex.

"You say the word and we'll open the doors for you to leave," Vasquez said. "We'll be monitoring you on both video and audio."

"Great, let's do it," Maggie said, swallowing hard against the fear in her throat.

"Let's open the doors," Vasquez said. "Once you're in, we'll turn the walls translucent."

Her heart hammering in her chest, Maggie walked to the opening doors, not looking back at Alex, and took a few steps inside. The dense metal doors shut behind her with an ominous clang. In the center of the room was a cylindrical cell, maybe six feet across at the diameter. The material was a dark grey and opaque and reached to the ceiling. It looked airtight, but there were speakers in the room, so she presumed there were speakers and a microphone in the center section.

She waited.

After a moment, the dark grey faded away, the walls of the center area turning completely transparent.

Within it, looking precisely as she remembered her two years ago, was an exact replica of Alex Danvers.


	9. If Only...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: There is discussion of non-consensual sexual activity in this chapter. It's more descriptive than it has been in previous chapters. You probably shouldn't read any of this chapter if this would be difficult for you, though if you want to read some of it that deals mostly with Maggie's feelings, you can start where the three asterisks (***) are. Notes at the end will give a brief plot summary.

It was uncanny. This Alex was a perfect copy of Alex from the past. Maggie recognized the outfit and the haircut. Everything about the being standing there, in the cell in the middle of the room screamed to her that it was  _ Alex _ . Just as she'd remembered her.

Except for the expression on its face.  _ Alex's _ face.

"Been a long time, Sawyer," it said, an ugly smirk appearing.

She clenched her jaw. "Get out of her body."

It laughed. It was Alex's laugh, but in a strange timbre, one she'd never heard before. "I thought you liked this form?"

"Change."

"Or what?" it asked. "Or you'll leave me alone in my cell?"

"You wanted to talk to me," she ventured. "So we do it on my terms or I leave."

"You won't leave," it snorted.

Had it read her mind? "Vasquez," she said, loudly, "can we do something about the shape-shifting?"

"Sorry, Maggie," Vasquez replied, "we can't. We didn't have J'onn helping out with the setup of the containment cell."

At the mention of J'onn, Maggie noticed the Martian's demeanour changed. It raised an eyebrow in what Maggie presumed was interest.

"What is it? Do you want J'onn here?"

It turned its head and spat. "That's what I think of your J'onn J'onzz."

"What's the matter? Don't like the idea of a green Martian coming in here?"

"By all means, allow him to visit. I would welcome the opportunity to destroy a green," it snarled, Alex's lips curling in disgust.

It  _ looked  _ just like her. It  _ sounded  _ just like her. But nothing it said would be what Alex would say. Gaining strength from that knowledge, seeing the Martian's personality for what it was for the first time, she folded her arms across her chest, steadying herself. "So why am I here, Martian? Why me?"

"Down right to it, Maggie? So eager to get this over with?"

"Frankly, yes," she nodded, considering the alien's obvious hesitation and deflection. "Is this just a ruse? Do you even have anything to say to me? Did you think I wouldn't welcome the chance to face you?"

"I'd hoped you'd visit," it smirked.

"So say what you need to say, Martian," she snapped.

"Oh, so  _ fiery _ ," the alien purred. "I did so enjoy that  _ passion  _ when we were together."

She forced herself to swallow.

"What's the matter,  _ Mags _ ?" it asked. "I thought we had fun together."

"That wasn't fun, that was assault," she shot back.

"Assault?" It leered at her. "Is it assault when you  _ demand  _ that I fuck you?"

Her cheeks burned with embarrassment as the shame crashed over her like a wave.

"Is it assault when you tell me I'm the best lover you've ever had?"

"Shut up."

"You had a good time and you know it. You  _ enjoyed  _ my ravishing your body. In fact, you loved it."

"I said  _ shut up _ ." She was shaking. Maggie had dug into this in therapy, but she still felt shame about the time she'd spent with the Martian. She still felt dirty and awful, no matter how much both Kelly and Alex told her that it wasn't her fault.

"What's the matter? Can't handle the truth?" it mocked her.

She shut her eyes. They'd watched  _ A Few Good Men _ together, sometime after the switch. That was clearly a reference to that evening, which had ended in… She took a breath and opened her eyes. "You got rid of me because I scared you," she said, throwing the only ammunition she had at it. "I scared you so badly you  _ had  _ to get rid of me."

It paused at that.

"You knew I'd blow your cover because you couldn't keep up the façade," she pressed. "So you had to get rid of me in order to carry out your mission, whatever it was."

It laughed. It was an ugly sound. "You think I dumped you because I couldn't keep this up for two years? Oh, Maggie, Maggie, no, that's not it at all." It laughed again. "Tell me, do you know how  _ tiring  _ it is to listen to your whining? Band or DJ? Who cares? It's insignificant. The table arrangements? Ridiculous. Your mom and dad still hate you? Get over it." It rolled its eyes,  _ Alex's _ eyes. "Who cares about any of that nonsense? I ended your relationship so that I could be free of your incessant moaning and wailing about all the damage done to you as a child."

"Why are you here? Why did you replace Alex? Who sent you?" she demanded, ignoring the jibes, trying to change the subject.

It laughed. "Wouldn't you like to know?"

"Tell me."

"And then what? They'll kill me? Toss me into an even less comfortable cell and throw away the key? Why should I tell you anything?"

Of course it wanted something in exchange for the information. "What do you want?"

It grinned. "I want freedom."

"Not a chance," she said. "They won't go for it."

"Then I have nothing more to say to you," it said. "Unless you'd like to cry some more about how your parents abandoned you as a child and how you're emotionally damaged and how I'm the best thing that ever happened to you?"

She grimaced. " _ Alex _ is the best thing that ever happened to me. You may look like her, talk like her, but you're  _ not  _ Alex."

"Funny how you couldn't tell us apart. Your own fiancée and an evil alien and you couldn't tell the difference." It clicked its tongue at her, shaking its head. "My, my, how disappointed must the  _ real  _ Alex be in you." It paused. "You failed her, you see. For weeks. You lived with me for more than a month and  _ still  _ had no idea I wasn't her."

Eyes watering, she blinked back the tears. She wasn't going to fall apart in front of this imposter. "Tell me what you want now and I'll talk to them, but if you keep going, I'm going to walk out of here and never come back in. And any chance at what you want will disappear with me."

It gazed at her pensively. It was extraordinary how it looked just like Alex, down to the way her eyes narrowed when she was thinking.

"I want my freedom," it repeated, "or I want full, unsupervised access to the DEO communications system for, say, one hour."

"What for?"

"That's none of your business. Stop trying to be a detective about it."

"If you knew me at all," she said, "you'd know that trying to convince me not to do something only makes me want to do it even more." Her response caught the alien off-guard, and it remained speechless, so she took the opportunity to make her exit. "I'll talk to them about your demands. Vasquez, let me out."

"Opening the doors," crackled the agent over the speakers.

"Oh, Maggie?" the alien called.

"Yes?"

"Tell Kara she's a failure too, won't you?" It laughed, cruelly.

"Fuck you," she said, as she stormed out of the cell, the laughter following her until the heavy doors shut behind her.

  
  


***

  
  


They didn't have time to discuss things before leaving the desert base. Alex had filled in Vasquez on what had happened with Haley and their leaving the DEO that day. Vasquez had promised to put the footage on a separate backup system and not mention it to the colonel, while Alex said she'd run point on negotiating with Haley.

Together, the three of them got back into Maggie's car and they drove back to the downtown facility, mostly in silence. Maggie wasn't in the mood to talk. She wanted to scream, cry, break down, break things. It had been an extremely difficult visit and the knowledge that she would likely have to go back… She gripped the steering wheel even more tightly, her knuckles whitening from the strain.

"Brainy, can you help Alex back to her room?" she asked, as she pulled up outside the office building.

"Of course, Detective," he said, sliding out of the car and pulling Alex's walker with him.

"Not coming up?" Alex asked. "We could talk—"

She shook her head. "I can't. Not right now."

"Maggie, please, I—"

"Danvers," she said, unable to even look at her, "I can't."

"Maybe—"

"Alex," she said, firmly, "get the hell out of my car."

They both sat in silence. "Okay." With that, Alex opened the door and, with help from Brainy, got out and stood up, using her walker for support. "I'm here if you need me," she said, then pushed the door shut.

She drove away. Why didn't Alex get that her being there for her just made it worse? The alien had been right, she'd failed Alex for weeks. She'd fucked up, she'd let the Martian break up with her, never once thinking it  _ wasn't  _ Alex. What the hell kind of person didn't recognize her own lover? Alex not blaming her for it only made her feel even more awful. Sure, she'd been through some shit, but it was  _ Alex  _ who was still regaining her strength, who was still undergoing grueling physical therapy, who was dealing with having lost two whole fucking years of her life. Maggie should have been taking care of her. And instead, Alex was trying to comfort her? No, that didn't make sense. It wasn't right that Alex should have to try to console her. This whole fiasco was all her fault, after all. If only she had raised the alarm, if only she'd recognized that Alex hadn't seemed quite herself, if only…

Once in her apartment, she went for the bottle of scotch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Maggie confronts the Martian, who has taken Alex's form. The Martian taunts her cruelly. It wants its freedom in exchange for the information they're seeking from it. Failing that, it wants full, unsupervised access to the DEO communication systems for an hour.
> 
> Maggie rejects Alex's attempts to comfort her, feeling too guilty and ashamed for not having realized the Martian had taken Alex's place.


	10. There It Is

She woke up early on Sunday morning, her head throbbing. She cracked an eyelid. Somehow, she'd made it to bed. She remembered very little about getting to bed. She remembered the scotch. Frankly, if she hadn't remembered the scotch, her headache would have reminded her.

Maggie grabbed her phone to check the time. It was 6:17am. And she had a text message.

She sighed and opened it.

"Hey," it began, "just wanted to say that when you're ready, I'll be here. I heard it all, the awful things it was saying to you. And it was twisting everything around. I'm NOT disappointed with you or upset with you. You were a victim like I was. You once told me you were with me, that you were 'ride or die'. Well, I'm ride or die too, Maggie. You can't get rid of me that easily. Text me when you're ready and we can talk about it. Or not. Up to you. Just… don't shut me out, okay? <3"

She dropped the phone on the bed and rolled over. Why did Alex have to be so nice and understanding? Didn't she understand it was her fault? If Maggie had sounded the alarm, Alex wouldn't have lost two years of her life. They would have been married by now.

She'd discussed it in therapy with Kelly. Kelly, Alex, everyone had told her, repeatedly, it wasn't her fault. But how had she not known? Her head still pounding, she picked up the phone and responded to the text.

"I don't know how you're so… okay about everything," she started. "If I could tell the difference between you and a white Martian, we would have avoided all of this. How ride or die am I if I didn't even know I was living with for more than a month?" She hit send and got up to get some water and painkillers.

Two glasses of water and too many Tylenols later, she crawled back into bed, surprised to see a response already.

"It drew on my memories. There was no way you'd ever have reason to doubt that it was me. Even seeing it in captivity, it was ridiculously convincing. Maggie, the only one holding you responsible is you."

She drew in a shuddering breath. "Even when it was acting weird about the wedding? And the kids thing? Out of the blue? None of that sounded like you."

It was only a moment later that the response arrived. "Even then. Weddings do weird things to people. You were nervous. You thought I was nervous. And with kids, well we didn't discuss it in depth before. The Martian would know that, would know you didn't want kids and thought it was the ideal way to break up with you."

"It was pretty effective," she admitted. "Though I came close to coming back to the apartment more than once to say I'd have ten kids if it meant we could be together."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. I wouldn't have meant it. So I never did. I knew that if I wasn't genuine, you… it… would end things with me all over again and I couldn't go through that again." She sighed. "I couldn't lose you a second time, Alex." She bit her lip. "I can't lose you twice."

The phone rang. She exhaled shakily.

"Danvers."

"You won't lose me again." It was a declaration, a statement. A promise.

"You don't know that, Alex," she said, loosening her grip on her insecurities. "You… you don't even know me anymore. The last two years changed me."

"I'm  _ always  _ going to love you, Maggie."

"You shouldn't," she replied.

"Ah," Alex said, in that tone of hers that Maggie hated oh-so-much. It was that tone where her annoyingly brilliant self pieced something together.

"What?"

"Well, not that I'm your therapist or anything, but it seems like this whole… situation, I guess, is bringing up old feelings." She paused. "Like from your childhood."

She exhaled. "Danvers, this isn't about me being abandoned by my parents."

"No, but I think it's related to the trauma that came from that."

She was silent.

"I mean, you've spent years thinking you're not worthy of love. Decades," she pressed. "First, your parents. Then Emily. And now you don't feel like I should love you?"

"Alex," she said, her voice shaking, "how could you ever forgive me for not realizing?"

There was a short pause as Alex took a breath. "The same way I can forgive Kara, J'onn, Winn, everyone else for not realizing."

"But you weren't going to marry any of them!"

"Maggie, Kara didn't know. Neither did J'onn, another Martian, who's  _ psychic _ , I might add."

"But—"

"No, Maggie," she said. "No ifs, no ands, no buts. There's nothing to forgive."

"But what if I can't forgive myself?"

"Maggie…" She heard Alex sigh. "I know you. Time apart or not," she said, and Maggie could hear the warmth and sincerity in her voice. "You are way too hard on yourself. You… you're holding yourself to an impossible standard."

She wiped at her eyes as tears escaped. "I don't care," she said, aware how stubborn she sounded. "And they should have known, too," she added, unable to accept that none of them could have known.

"Even if that's true, and I don't think it is, it's in the past, okay? No one figured it out, and I don't see how anyone would have. So it's over, now. It's time for me to reclaim my life and… and try to knit it back together into some semblance of normalcy." She exhaled. "And you, Maggie, are part of what I'm hoping my life will look like."

She wanted to run, to flee, to push back against Alex's kindness, her inviting warmth. "Uh…" She cleared her throat. "I'm not ready for anything yet."

"I know, I know." Alex paused. "I'm here for when you are. If you are."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." She took a breath. "Maggie, I wasn't always aware of time passing. It was like a long dream that I couldn't wake up from." She swallowed audibly. "But you were what kept me sane." She laughed, perhaps a bit nervously. "I mean, like, you know, no pressure."

Maggie chuckled. "You have no chill, Danvers."

"Guess that's what happens when you meet the love of your life."

The simplicity of the statement hit Maggie, and she felt an ache in her chest. She cleared her throat. "I'll, uh, I'll come by this evening, all right?"

"I'd like that," she replied.

"Get some rest, Danvers."

"You too. See you soon."

"Bye." She hung up and texted Kelly, asking if she had time for a session that afternoon. She set her alarm and then rolled over in bed, hoping to nap for a couple more hours.

***

Maggie had spent so much time in the room that the scent alone seemed to soothe her. She was sitting in her regular spot on the couch in Kelly's office, a half-filled coffee cup in her hands. She was leaning forward, her forearms on her thighs, head bowed, staring at the lid of her cup.

"I don't know," she said. "And I know, I know, saying 'I don't know' makes you stop thinking, stop trying." She sighed and looked up at Kelly who didn't even bother to hide her grin.

"Well, at least that's sunk in, over the last few weeks."

She straightened up and took a sip, the taste of her still-warm coffee allowing her to relax. "I'm not sure why I don't deserve forgiveness."

"Well, let's go back. In our very first session, I asked you if you'd blame Alex, if it were the other way around. And you said no."

She grunted in acknowledgment.

"So why do you insist on blaming yourself?"

Maggie rubbed at her face with one hand. "I don't know."

"Maggie."

She sighed. "Alex has a theory."

"Oh?"

"She thinks it all has to do with my parents."

"And kicking you out because you were gay?"

She nodded.

"Do you think she's right?"

"I don't—" She stopped herself. "Maybe." She gave the slightest shrug.

"Okay, so is there a link between that event and this one?" Kelly asked.

Maggie narrowed her eyes at her. "Remind me never to play poker with you. That is one hell of a poker face."

She grinned. "Thank you. But humour as deflection? Come on, Maggie. Focus."

"Well, I truly did think I didn't deserve my parents' love, because I would obviously go straight to hell."

"Right, having grown up Catholic, you would have been taught that homosexuality was wrong," Kelly nodded.

"So yeah, it took me a couple of years to get past that. And my tia, my aunt, helped to show me it was my parents' loss." She finished the last mouthful of her coffee and set the empty cup on the table in front of her. "And when… the imposter… encouraged me to tell my parents about the wedding shower, and my dad…" She took a breath. "When my dad told me he couldn't deal with it, something in me just broke. And like… not in a bad way?" She chewed her lip for a moment, trying to describe it. "It hurt. A lot. But I had… I mean, I  _ thought  _ I had Alex. And J'onn, Winn, James, even Kara. And Eliza, too." She nodded. "I didn't need my parents' approval."

"I sense a but."

Maggie quirked a grin. "But. Losing Alex… It changed me. Thinking she could choose some… some hypothetical  _ child  _ over me. Over us." She leaned back and put her right elbow up on the arm of the sofa, leaning her cheek against her fist. "I haven't been the same since."

"Does it feel the way it felt before you had that moment with your dad?"

"It's different," she said, "it's like… I know that I have value, that I have worth. It's not me trying to seek his approval."

"But for Alex? Are you seeking her approval too?"

She paused. "No," she said, "Alex swears she's forgiven me, that there's nothing to forgive, that she'll always love me…"

"So if you have value, if she's forgiven you, what's the problem?"

"It's hard to describe," she said, shifting, rubbing her chin, thinking.

"Try."

"It's… Have you ever been skiing? Like on a big mountain?"

"Can't say that I have."

"Well, Emily and I would go skiing together. I wasn't great, but I picked it up okay." She considered. "There's this feeling you have, when you're looking down a run that's a little tougher than you're ready for. And it's terrifying, but you have confidence in your legs and your skis and so you go for it. And just as the tips of your skis fall over the edge as you start, there's this rush, because you are now  _ definitely  _ going down that hill. It's scary and then, as you're midway down the run, your legs absorbing moguls, your skis biting into the ice and carving the snow, it's exhilarating. And the fear has vanished, and it justifies the confidence you had."

"Okay…"

"I feel like I'm about to go down the hardest slope on the mountain, with zero confidence, so I'm trying hard not to go down that run."

"Where did that confidence go?"

"I don't know, Kelly, that's the problem. Every time Alex tells me she loves me or forgives me or whatever, it's that moment of fear and I pull back from going over the edge."

"You had a couple of relationships over the last two years, right?"

"Yeah."

"Did you feel like that at all with either of them?"

"No. Didn't feel much of anything, to be perfectly honest."

"Maybe you intentionally sought out relationships that wouldn't scare you, wouldn't challenge you."

"Who wouldn't shatter my heart into a trillion pieces… Yeah, that makes sense." She gave a weak laugh.

"So, let's see if I can summarize this for you," Kelly said. "You don't feel as though you deserve forgiveness." She held out her index finger. "You're terrified of falling back in love with Alex." Another finger. "You avoided any real romantic prospects over the last two years." She extended her ring finger. "And Alex thinks it somehow relates to your parents." She held out the four fingers. "Is that about right?"

She nodded.

"Aren't you a detective?" she asked.

Maggie frowned. "Yes."

"Piece it together. There's all your evidence."

"And therapists wonder why people hate them," Maggie joked, dryly.

"Therapists don't care that people hate them, not if it leads them to a breakthrough." She smiled. "Come on, Maggie."

She took a breath and tried to approach it like she would a case. She immediately dismissed Alex's theory. The baggage she had that lingered from her childhood might be tangentially related, but wasn't the cause for her feeling unworthy of forgiveness. As to avoiding real emotions over the last two years, that only made sense. She knew she'd never be over Alex. That's why she'd left… she couldn't even remember her name. The woman she'd been at dinner with when Kara had texted. Alex would always take precedence over anyone.

So of course it would make sense that it scared her to fall back in love with her. As if she wasn't still mostly in love with her. But when Alex had broken up with her, it had hurt so much. She couldn't risk that again, could she?

And then it hit her, all at once. She gasped aloud, her eyes finding Kelly's.

"Alex didn't break up with me."

"No, she didn't."

"I went through the heartbreak of a breakup, but it wasn't real."

"Real is subjective, but sure, let's go with that."

"So why am I so scared of falling back in love with Alex when she never broke up with me at all?"

Kelly smiled. "I knew you'd figure it out."

She sat back, hard, against the couch, still shocked. "I mean… It's one thing to know it logically, but a whole other thing to feel it. To get it. Right in the gut?"

She nodded.

Maggie took a deep breath. "I've been putting up this wall, where I'm trying to protect myself by claiming I'm not worthy of forgiveness. And it's because I've been completely terrified that she'll hurt me again." She shook her head. "But she never hurt me in the first place." Her eyes burned as they filled with water. "Shit, how much of an idiot am I?"

"You're not, Maggie. Like you said, it takes time to  _ understand  _ the logic. It's a strange situation. You went through a breakup. You thought it was Alex, and it's felt that way because it was your truth for two years. It takes a lot to undo that."

"Well, thanks for the impromptu session," she said. "I appreciate you making time for me on a Sunday."

"Anytime," she said.

She stood up. She had to go see Alex.

Twenty minutes later, she was at the DEO. She stabbed at the up button on the elevator impatiently. "C'mon, c'mon," she muttered.

It arrived after a few moments. She got in and punched the button for her destination. She was full of nervous energy, pacing, shifting her weight. When the elevator opened, she nodded at the guards, who let her walk right in. Everyone knew who she was by sight after a few weeks.

She strode down the hallway with purpose, a smile forming on her face. She walked into Alex's room.

"Hey," she said, "wasn't expecting you 'till later." Alex smiled up at her.

She walked right up to her and sat on the edge of the bed, without a word. She smiled at her as she reached out and lightly caressed her cheeks with her thumbs and, much more slowly than she wanted to, moved closer.

And then, for the first time in two years, Maggie's lips pressed against Alex's. She melted into the kiss, felt Alex's arms come up around her back, felt her holding her close. Breathless, she pulled back after several moments and wrapped her arms around Alex. "I'm sorry," she said.

"Uh, no need to apologize for that," Alex chuckled, pulling back and looking up at her. "Are you okay?"

She nodded. "For the first time in a couple of years, I think so," she said, a small smile forming. "I think I am."


	11. A Conversation

Almost three weeks after Maggie kissed Alex at the DEO, Alex was finally ready to go home. She hadn't been in her apartment in actual years. That realization led Maggie to ask Kara to go with her to Alex's and see what the Martian had done in the intervening time.

"Do you think we need to?" she'd asked. "I mean, I've been there, both over the last couple of years and recently to pick up Alex's mail. It's not trashed or anything."

"Well, let's see, if a white Martian impersonated you for two years, wouldn't you want your family to do a spot-check and make sure that things were more or less as you left them?" Maggie had responded.

Kara had agreed that Maggie had a point.

That's how the two of them met outside Alex's building at six in the evening on Friday, after they were both done with work.

"Hey," Maggie said, as Kara walked out from the alley next to the building, adjusting her glasses.

"Hey." She pulled keys from her purse. "I normally, uh…"

"Use the upstairs entrance?" Maggie grinned, pointing up.

"Yes," she smiled. She cleared her throat and unlocked the interior door at the front of the building and stopped to get Alex's mail. Together, they took the elevator up to the fourth floor.

As the doors opened, Maggie took a deep breath. She hadn't been to the apartment since that day. She wasn't entirely sure she was ready for it, but it was for Alex. She swallowed as Kara unlocked the door and they walked inside together.

It had changed. Well, of course it had changed. The Martian had lived there for two years. The furniture was the same and in the same place, but it was the little touches that were missing. The cookbooks were no longer stored on the far side of the counter. The fruit basket was there and not on the island. A plant had moved. Of course, those were all in addition to the fact that Maggie's own things weren't in the apartment any longer.

"See? What's wrong with this?" Kara asked, putting the mail with the pile on the dining table.

"All kinds of little things," she said, moving to pick up the fruit basket and put it back in place. She found the cookbooks in the shelving near the kitchen and put them back where they should be, then moving to put the flour and sugar cannisters back on the shelf.

Kara looked at her. "How do you remember where everything goes?"

"I lived here, remember?"

"Ah." She took a breath. "Can I help?"

"Yeah, can you grab the floor plant from by the bathroom and put it back by the window out on to the balcony?"

"Okay." She frowned. "Are you sure that's—"

"I'm sure," she said, without even turning.

"Okay," Kara repeated, her skepticism evident.

She put the last cannister down on the shelf and turned to see Kara putting the plant down where she'd asked. "Really, Kara?"

"What?"

She bit her lip. She'd promised Alex she'd be nice to Kara. She'd  _ promised _ . Maggie took a breath. "I'm sorry, I find it weird that you're questioning me about this stuff."

"I just want things to be perfect for Alex."

"So do I." She sighed. "Can you please trust me on this stuff?"

"I'm trying to be helpful."

"I know. But doubting me in what used to be my home isn't helpful."

"Look, I've spent more time here than you."

"Yeah, while an alien lived here!" she scoffed.

"Oh." Kara put her hands on her hips. "So that's what this is about."

"What?" She was playing dumb. It's what she'd wanted to ask Kara about for weeks.

Kara shook her head. "You think I should have known."

"I think a  _ lot  _ of people should have known."

"But me. You mean me."

She folded her arms across her chest. "Yes. I mean you. And J'onn. And Winn. It got rid of me the first chance it had and I  _ still  _ think I should have known."

"You don't know what it was like," Kara said. She relaxed her stance and removed her glasses, rubbing the bridge of her nose. "Reign was loose, Mon-El was back, we all almost died on Earth 1 or Earth X, Winn was leaving, Mon-El was leaving again, Brainy was arriving…" She sighed. "All the imposter did for weeks was talk about you."

She blinked. It was a lot to take in, but the imposter talked about her? "What?"

"Even staring death in the face on Earth X, it told me its last thoughts were of you. I mean, obviously, it was lying, but it told me that because it's what I expected to hear."

"I'm going to want to hear about this other Earth thing later," she warned, "but you're saying that you didn't suspect it was an imposter because it seemed so upset after our breakup?"

She nodded and replaced her glasses. "It's exactly what Alex would have done in that situation."

Maggie sighed. "Well. That's interesting."

"And then, when the world finally got back to normal, when we defeated Reign and all that… Well, I thought she'd changed. Accepted that you didn't want kids. Accepted you were no longer together. But it wasn't a drastic change, Maggie. It was slow. It felt normal." She sat on the chair at the foot of the table. "I had no reason to suspect it at all."

"Not even the newfound obsession with having kids?"

She shrugged. "We'd talked about having kids, when we were growing up. Alex, even back then, had basically realized that it was unlikely that I'd ever find someone genetically compatible on Earth to have kids with. So she said she'd have a kid and I could be Auntie Kara." She smiled. "But it wasn't something that we talked about often or regularly. It wasn't, like, a thing. I just thought she'd forgotten about it."

"But maybe the Martian latched on to that when it realized I wasn't interested in it."

"Maybe."

She blew out a breath and, out of habit, turned to the fridge and was almost surprised to find a six pack of beer there. She picked up a bottle and closed the fridge before opening the drawer where the bottle opener had always been, glad it was still there. "Want one?" she asked.

"No, thanks."

"Mind if I do?"

"Go ahead," she smiled.

Maggie popped off the cap and took a long drink. "I'm sorry," she said.

"I don't think you are," Kara replied. "But it's okay. I'd be wondering what the hell was going on if I was in your place, too."

She grinned. "You're right. I'm not sorry for talking about this. But," she said, "I  _ am  _ sorry that you were fooled like everyone else. That must have been hard to accept."

Kara looked up at the ceiling above Maggie's head. "I… Yeah. I've spent a lot of time at the Fortress, lately. Lots of time working. I just… I don't really trust myself to be around Alex right now. Or much of anyone."

"I can understand that," she said, coming over to the table and sitting in the seat to Kara's right. "You, uh… You talking to anyone?"

She scoffed. "Can't really do that without someone learning I'm Supergirl."

"Ah."

"So that rules out the DEO, since Haley is still in charge and I've been very careful about not showing up as Kara there for work, and only showing up as Kara to see Alex."

"What about Kelly? She knows."

"Kelly Olsen?" She shook her head. "I don't know her that well. And it would be weird, wouldn't it?"

"Well, if you trust James, then it's possible you could trust her. I've been seeing her pretty much this whole time. She's been really helpful."

Kara scrunched up her face. "Wait, you're seeing Alex's… wait." She frowned even more deeply, her forehead crinkling. "You're not Alex's ex-fiancée seeing Alex's current girlfriend. You're her ex-fiancée seeing someone Alex has never met, but that someone thought she was dating Alex." She looked over at Maggie. "Did I get that right?"

She laughed, nodding. "Nailed it."

"This whole thing makes my head spin."

"Join the club," she said. "Listen, talk to James, see if he thinks Kelly could handle it. If so, what's the harm in giving it a shot? She's already keeping your secret. It's not like she's going to blow your cover for fun."

She nodded. "You could be right," she said.

"Up to you." She took a swig of beer. "J'onn's seeing someone at the DEO. Probably the same therapist Alex talks to."

Kara snorted. "If you had told me two years ago that Alex would voluntarily be talking to a therapist, I would have told you that  _ you  _ should be the one to see a therapist."

"Right?" She took another sip of beer. "A lot has changed. It's been hard for everyone in such different ways." She considered. "How's Eliza?"

Kara exhaled. "She came up for a few days, you know that, right?"

She nodded. "Didn't get a chance to see her, though."

"Well, she spent most of the time apologizing to Alex for not recognizing the Martian wasn't her own daughter."

"Understandable." She swigged at her beer. "But she's okay?"

"Yeah. Promised to come to National City for Thanksgiving and make all of Alex's favourites."

She smiled. "She'll like that. I'm glad she's okay."

"Me too," Kara replied. "And, speaking of, how are you doing?"

She nodded. "I'm doing well, actually. Thanks for asking." She put the beer down. "Between therapy and forgiving myself and Alex and I being back on track…" She smiled. "Things are okay."

"I'm glad," she said. "I have never in my life seen Alex as happy as when she's with you."

"Yeah?" Her eyes teared up.

"Yeah." Kara reached out her hand and grasped Maggie's. "Please be gentle with her."

"I plan to be," she replied, squeezing gently. "But you know something? Alex Danvers is stronger than even you, in some ways."

Kara grinned. "Don't I know it. God, it is impossible to get her out of the bathroom in the morning!"

"Excuse me, have you  _ seen  _ the bathroom here? Believe me, I know."

The two of them broke into laughter and, for the first time since they'd rescued Alex from the water tank, Maggie really felt as though she and Kara were on the same team.

***

It took Maggie and Kara about forty-five minutes to finish organizing things the way that Maggie remembered. A couple of times, she'd had to close her eyes and envision a particular memory to remember which photo was on which shelf. The shelf by the balcony, closest to the bed, was the most changed. The plants that had been on the shelf were all gone, replaced with books and various baubles, which Maggie put back where they belonged, while Kara went to pick up some small cactus plants from a nearby flower shop using her super speed.

Finally, Maggie replaced the photo of Kara by Alex's bedside with the photo of the two of them which had previously been there. She'd found it in a drawer, along with her now-expired passport. "I  _ knew  _ I left it here."

"What's that?"

"Oh, I texted Alex to mail me my passport a few months after the breakup and I never received it, so I had to file for a new one." She'd waved it at Kara. "Looks like the Martian either didn't care or never got my message. Did her number change at all?"

She'd shaken her head. "Same phone, same phone number."

"Didn't care, then." She'd rolled her eyes and tucked it in her back pocket.

Kara had also done a quick grocery run and pharmacy run, with a list of food and toiletries from Maggie. They'd put it all away, mostly at super speed, and then left Alex's apartment. Maggie had felt good about the time they'd spent there. It was just about perfect and ready for Alex.

The next day, they returned, Alex in tow. The DEO had discharged her, but she still had both kinds of therapy three times a week and was still on leave from the DEO. She also still had the walker, but wasn't using it much. If she was going to go out for a walk to the park, she'd likely need it, so they brought it with them, despite her loud protests.

Kara let them in and Alex smiled as she walked into the apartment for the first time in years. She looked around. "It feels good to be home," she said, walking carefully over to the couch and sitting down.

"Can I get you something?" Kara asked.

"I'm okay for right now, thanks." She looked around again. "Your stuff's missing," she said, addressing Maggie.

Maggie nodded. "Yeah. Oh, and the plants on the shelf were gone, so Kara was nice enough to replace them. She also got you some food and picked up some toiletries for you."

"Maggie's the one who gave me lists of what you would like," Kara pointed out.

"Well, thank you both," she smiled.

"I, uh, I'm gonna do a quick sweep of the city, I think," Kara said. "You guys okay here?"

Alex nodded.

"Oh, Alex! Check it out."

"What?"

Kara ripped off her glasses and her suit encompassed her.

"Wow!" Alex exclaimed, seeing it for the first time. Maggie had seen it earlier in the day, but still would admit that she found the new suiting up mechanic cool.

"PANTS!" Kara grinned. "Brainy gave me pants!"

She laughed. "Well, go on then," she said, shooing her away.

Still grinning, Kara stepped out on to the balcony and flew off.

Maggie walked over to the couch and sat down next to Alex. Over the last few weeks, they'd kissed, cuddled and such, and even talked about the status of their relationship. They'd settled on girlfriends for the time being. However, their alone time, such as it was, was severely limited at the DEO. Maggie held out her arm and Alex rested her head on Maggie's right shoulder, while Maggie curled her arm around Alex. She closed her eyes and inhaled Alex's scent and just let herself feel the perfection in that moment.

"I love you," she murmured.

"I love you too," Alex replied, burrowing closer.

Despite it all, there was still something that she had to take care of, and sooner, rather than later. She had to see the Martian again and find out its mission.

But sitting there, on the couch with Alex, sunlight streaming in from the windows, she decided that the Martian could wait.

For now.


	12. Detectives Detect

The following week, Maggie had insisted to Alex that they come clean to Colonel Haley about having visited the Martian.

"I'm going to get fired," Alex had muttered. "I don't even know if I want stay as director of the DEO. But I'm pretty sure that if we tell her we visited it, it won't be my choice anymore."

"If we don't tell her, then what, we're just going to wait for Haley to call me in? That's never going to happen."

Alex had sighed and rolled back over in bed, defeated. "Fine. We'll tell her on Monday."

Colonel Haley, predictably, did not take the news well. There had been yelling, followed by threats of court-martial, then more yelling. In the end, Maggie stepped in to take responsibility.

"With all due respect, colonel," she said, "this involves me. It's always involved me. And it's involved Alex. That you didn't tell us that the Martian was asking for me is unacceptable." She held up her hand to forestall the colonel's retort. "I understand you did it to shield me. I do. And I appreciate your concern. But it involves me, colonel. It involves the both of us on a level that is so extremely personal, I'm not sure you quite understand."

That had taken the wind out of Haley's sails.

"What do you propose?" she asked.

With that, Alex, Maggie, Brainy and Vasquez laid out their plan they'd been kicking around for the last couple of weeks.

Their meeting ended two hours later, after getting the proper requests in place with the Department of Defense and the White House. They would put their plan into action on Wednesday.

***

The cell doors opened and Maggie and Alex, holding each others' hand, walked into the room. Once the doors clanged shut behind them, the inner cylinder went translucent and, standing there, was another Alex Danvers. Again. Maggie grimaced and Alex squeezed her hand a little tighter.

"I won't talk to you while she's here," the fake said, inclining her chin towards the real Alex.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I thought you wanted unsupervised access to our comms network?" Alex asked, hefting a laptop in her free hand.

That got the Martian's attention.

"We talked to the DEO, and they agreed. One hour, on this terminal device," Maggie said.

The Martian thought about it. "That'll do," it said. "Bring it to me."

It was Alex's turn. "Sure thing. Before I do…" She took a breath. "You stole two years of my life, you bastard. You got rid of Maggie, you hoped that you could prey on her vulnerabilities and drive her away forever. Well, we're together again," she said, raising their joined hands, triumphantly. "My heart has healed, my body is healing, and my mind will heal. How does it feel that your hard work was for nothing, Martian?" She let their hands drop.

"You only think it was for nothing," it sneered. "The damage I've caused you both was just incidental. Don't get me wrong," it laughed, "I'm glad I could throw everything into such disarray. But if you think my aim was to break up two stupid humans, you're even more limited than I had imagined."

Alex shrugged and walked forward, Maggie with her, and activated a one-way force-field that let her deposit the laptop in the cell. "Do what you want to do. We'll be back to question you later."

With that, they turned and exited the cell, leaving the Martian by itself.

Once they were far enough away, Maggie turned to Alex. "Wonder if it tried to read our minds?"

"I kind of hope so."

She laughed. "Me too. I hope it was confused by how I was rapping to  _ One Week _ the whole time we were in there."

"Hold it now and watch the hoodwink," Alex started, "as I make you stop, think, you'll think you're looking at Aquaman."

"I summon fish to the dish, although I like the Chalet Swiss, I like the sushi 'cause it's never touched a frying pan," Maggie answered.

"Hot like wasabi when I bust rhymes!"

"Big like LeAnn Rimes!"

"Because I'm all about value," Alex replied.

"Bert Kaempfert's got the mad hits."

"You try to match wits."

"You try to hold me but I bust through!" Maggie laughed. "God, I love that song."

"Me too." Alex took a breath, sobering a little. "Maggie, are we right?"

"Danvers, how many times do I have to tell you? I'm a detective, I—"

"You detect, I know, I know," she smiled. "I mean, it makes sense."

"We'll see soon enough."

They spent the next little while chatting with Brainy and Vasquez, checking to see if the Martian was doing what they'd expected. While they hadn't placed any monitoring software on the laptop, they had an idea what the Martian would try. They had developed a countermeasure for it, if, indeed, it were to happen.

It took just a few minutes for Brainy to confirm their suspicions. They activated the countermeasures. If everything had gone as planned, the Martian would be unaware that they knew what it had done on the terminal.

After an hour, they sent a remote signal to the laptop to fry it, to ensure the Martian had no more time with it, and set up their final countermeasure.

Once that was done, Maggie and Alex returned to the cell, together.

"Happy?" Maggie asked.

"Thrilled," it replied, using Alex's face, her voice, her expressions. It was still eerie.

"So are you going to tell us who you're working for and what your mission was?" Maggie asked.

"Not with her here," it said, indicating Alex again.

"Is that so?"

"Yeah. Get rid of her."

"Well, as you may remember, Martian, I'm a detective."

"She detects," Alex pointed out, helpfully.

Maggie grinned back and squeezed Alex's hand before letting it go and beginning to pace. "She's right, I detect. So I was thinking to myself, why us? Why Alex? Why would you be on a mission to replace Alex? We're just two stupid humans, as you confirmed to us just an hour ago. Your mission had to be about something larger." Maggie paced back in the other direction. "But what could it be?" she asked, looking at Alex.

"If I wasn't the target, then who was? What did you gain from taking over my entire life for two years?"

"That's what I asked myself," Maggie said, pointing at Alex and turning to face the Martian. "She wasn't even the director at the DEO when you replaced her."

"Yeah, thanks for the promotion, by the way!" Alex grinned.

The Martian grimaced.

"Ooh, do I make that face?" Alex asked Maggie.

"You do. Mostly when I mention vegan ice cream."

Alex made a face.

"Yep. That's the one." She grinned. "So what were you after? What made it even more interesting is that you stayed with the DEO during President Baker's awful anti-alien policies." She paced again. "That had me wondering why an alien would remain part of the DEO, even while it turned into an anti-alien organization under Baker."

"Gotta admit, it was a nice touch to tell J'onn and my sister it was to fight it from the inside," Alex said, making the okay sign with her hand. "That sold them. But Maggie? You have to be thinking a few steps ahead to get anything past this one."

The Martian frowned.

"The only reason an alien would reasonably remain within the DEO, in that position of power, under such an administration, would be because of the knowledge gained from the position. As the director of the DEO you would have incredible amounts of oversight and monitoring regarding aliens on Earth. If you appeared to  _ support  _ the administration, that might help you to limit more aliens coming to Earth." She folded her arms and looked at the Martian. "So while I'm pretty sure that your objective was to infiltrate the DEO, I doubt you expected a promotion to director of the organization."

"But once you were there," Alex added, "it was easy for you to change personnel, procedures and protocols that might help in uncovering you. So you definitely took advantage of that. I've seen my own signature on the paperwork for countless, seemingly minor changes, all of which could be used to better cover your tracks. And if you could use the power of the DEO for your own purposes, why not?"

Maggie nodded and put her hands on her hips. "But what was the goal of the infiltration? If Alex and I weren't the targets, then who? I think you got lucky with replacing Alex. You might not have even known who she was. So why would a white Martian infiltrate the DEO in the first place?"

"Wouldn't you like to know?" it taunted them.

Alex smiled, walking up towards Maggie. "What I think is that you were meant to be a low-level DEO agent who put in their time at work, who clocked in and clocked out, while keeping tabs on aliens on Earth. You were the canary in the coal mine."

"Right," Maggie agreed. "You were the warning signal. And I'm guessing you were watching for someone to arrive on Earth. Someone who would make you nervous." She smiled. It was a smile meant to intimidate a suspect in an interrogation room. "Someone like, oh, I don't know, a rebellious white Martian?"

"M'gann M'orzz, maybe?" Alex chimed in.

The Martian's face contorted in anger, barely remaining human.

"So you were assigned here in case M'gann ever returned. It was a possibility, especially after she and her fellow rebels came to Earth to help fight off the Daxamites," Maggie concluded. "It's the only thing that makes sense. If she were to return, you would either capture her or kill her. You'd also send as much information to your friends on Mars as possible. That you ended up as the director of the organization was a fluke."

"Right," Alex nodded. She pulled out a tablet. "And we figured you'd want to tell your friends that your cover was blown, so they could send a replacement. Well, we didn't monitor what you did on the terminal, but we figured you'd use our satellite to beam a message to Mars. So…"

"So we reprogrammed the satellite to send us the information instead and then we faked a 43 minute delay before responding to acknowledge your message," Maggie concluded. "Depending on a few things, it takes about 20 minutes to send a communication to Mars, doesn't it?"

"Impossible," it growled.

Alex brought the tablet to life and showed the characters on the screen to the Martian. "Look familiar?"

"I will end you both," it snarled, and threw itself against the transparent cylinder that was keeping it in place.

"You've already tried and you've already failed," Alex said. "There's nothing else you can do to us."

"You can't hurt us anymore," Maggie concurred. "And, without word from you, your compatriots will think everything is fine here," Maggie said, moving back towards Alex. "You've failed your mission and you've failed to bring in your replacement." She smirked. "Now who's the failure?" she asked, throwing its words back at it.

"Enjoy solitary confinement," Alex added. "You're gonna be in there for a long, long time."

Howling, it transformed into its natural state, for the first time in their presence. It threw itself against the walls of its prison again and again, raging, as Alex and Maggie turned and walked out of the cell, hand in hand.

J'onn was waiting for them and embraced them both. "You both distracted it so well that it didn't notice my presence in its mind," he rumbled. "I can confirm everything you deduced, Maggie. Good work."

She beamed and pulled back from him and took Alex in her arms. She'd been certain that she'd covered all the bases, almost fully sure that she'd known what the Martian had been up to, but J'onn had been the backup, their final countermeasure. With his confirmation, Maggie felt tears of pure relief rolling down her cheeks as she held Alex close to her.

It was over. Finally.


	13. After

Their lives naturally divided into three time periods: Before, After and the In-Between.

Before was before the abduction and replacement.

After was after the discovery.

The In-Between was, for Maggie, the five weeks she spent with the Martian all the way to when Kara texted her. For Alex, it was the two years the Martian held her captive.

They didn't talk much about the In-Between. It came up in therapy, even in their occasional joint therapy sessions, but they rarely had reason to talk about it in their daily lives.

Things between them were going well, in this section of the After, once the Martian's plans had been thwarted. Alex's physical recovery had been phenomenal. While she wasn't back to what Alex herself considered normal, she could walk and run without issues. Physical therapy was no longer necessary, though Alex was always pushing herself. As a result, she went to the gym almost daily and sparred with Kara almost as often. Her hard work had paid off and there were almost no enduring physical effects from her captivity.

Psychologically, Alex was doing better, and still seeing a therapist at the DEO every week. Maggie was still seeing Kelly about once a month and Kara had also become a patient of Kelly's. They were all healing from the last two years. And Alex and Maggie were healing together. Maggie had moved back in at Alex's insistence, within a month of Alex being released from the DEO. Now, five months later, she was packing everything up again.

She finished putting the books from the last bookshelf into the box and taped it shut, writing LIVING ROOM on it in block print. She'd miss the apartment. It's where she and Alex spent most of their time Before and After. It was cozy, and familiar and it would always, in some way, be home. While memories from the In-Between still lingered, that wasn't why Maggie was packing up. She picked up the box and placed it on the fireplace's hearth with the others. They were nearly done packing, and none too soon. The movers were scheduled for that weekend, ready to move them to their new house. Two weeks later, they'd be picking up a German Shepherd and Labrador mix, named Gertrude, from one of Maggie's friends on the force, once she'd been properly weaned. The decision to finally get a dog, and from this litter, was what prompted them to really start looking for a house, as there was no way the apartment would be big enough for Gertrude.

So while Maggie might miss the apartment, she acknowledged, she would not miss the tiny bathroom. In fact, she had insisted that their new place had two sinks in a very spacious master suite. They were working to pack up the apartment ahead of the move in two days, ready to begin another chapter of their After, when an unexpected relic from the In-Between hit them.

Maggie picked up a fresh new box and unfolded it, folding flaps over one another to make the bottom solid, then opened the drawers that made up the left side of the wine rack. She was expecting to find random papers and a couple of books. She started piling the papers together, adding a couple of issues of one of Alex's scientific magazines to the pile and placed them in the box.

She knelt down and opened up the third drawer and started to empty it. Suddenly, she stopped, dropping the collected papers to the floor, staring at the contents of the drawer.

"What is it?" Alex called from the bedroom area, where she was trying to finish emptying the closet.

She shook her head, unable to say anything, her heart pounding, staring at her discovery.

"Maggie?" Alex dropped the box she'd been filling on the bed and ran over to her, kneeling beside her. "Hey," she said, "hey, what's wrong?"

"I wasn't expecting to see these."

"What?" Alex asked.

She reached in and grasped the engagement rings, likely tossed haphazardly into the drawer by the Martian. "These," she whispered, her hand extended out to Alex.

Alex sat back on her heels. "Oh, Maggie," she said, taking them from her. "I have the foggiest of memories of these. From that day."

The day was the day the Martian had broken up with Maggie. The day they'd tearfully slipped off their rings and placed them on the top of the set of drawers by the door. The Martian had likely just tossed them into the drawer once the door had shut, satisfied that it had rid itself of Maggie.

"What, uh… what do you want to do with them?" Alex asked.

She shrugged. "I…" She resisted the urge to say she didn't know, the months of therapy having worked to condition her to search for answers instead of settling for not knowing. Instead, she focused on what she knew. "I know you're the one who asked me to marry you."

Alex nodded. "Might not have been the best proposal in the multiverse, but yeah, that was me."

Maggie quirked a grin. "I loved it."

"Please, your first words were 'excuse me'," Alex countered.

She laughed. "Yes, but don't you remember the radiant smile that came after that? The 'yes'? That kiss?"

Alex grinned. "Still not my finest work, but at least you agreed."

Maggie smiled at the memory. "I meant it. I wanted to be your wife."

"But that was Before."

"Before." She sighed and took the rings from Alex. "These… I bought these with the Martian. I argued over a band versus a DJ with the Martian. And did the seating arrangements with the Martian. And…" She took a breath. "I planned my life out with the Martian." She shook her head. "I did all of those things an engaged couple does with someone who wasn't you." She played with the rings. "It can't be just like it was Before, Alex."

"I know," Alex said.

Something in the timbre of her voice caused Maggie to look over. She'd sounded subdued. Defeated. Her head was bowed, her shoulders slumped. And something inside Maggie snapped.

"It can't be the way it was Before," she said, "but it'll be better." She closed her fist tightly around the rings, her anger rising. "I won't let that piece of shit Martian steal one more thing from me, from us." She got up to her knees and tipped Alex's chin up to look at her. "We've lost enough time. Marry me, Danvers."

She frowned. "What?"

"Seriously," she said, echoing Alex's words to her from so long ago. "Marry me. Please."

Alex broke into a huge smile and Maggie reached for her. As they kissed, Maggie's hands opened to pull Alex closer to her, and she let the rings fall to the floor.

***

The next few months were a blur.

*

The movers took the last of the furniture out, leaving Maggie and Alex to gaze at the empty apartment together.

"You okay?" Maggie asked, her arm around Alex's waist.

"Been through a lot here," she said, wiping away her tears.

"Lots of memories."

She nodded. "Sister nights with Kara for a while. And later, long, sleepless nights as I wondered why this one, annoying cop wouldn't get out of my head…" She grinned, putting her arm around Maggie's shoulders and squeezing. "You telling me that life is too short and we should be who we are, and we should kiss the girls we wanna kiss, right over there," she pointed.

"Our first night together," Maggie added.

Alex bent to kiss her. "So many memories here."

She kissed her back. "Can't wait for a whole lifetime of making more memories with you."

*

Maggie watched as Alex gazed out into the crowd at the DEO, pausing to smile at her, before she turned her attention to Colonel Haley and raised her right hand.

"Do you, Alex Danvers, solemnly swear that you will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign, domestic and extra-terrestrial, that you will bear true faith and allegiance to the same, that you take this obligation freely and that you will faithfully discharge the duties of the office on which you are about to enter?"

"I do."

"Then I, Colonel Lauren Haley, do hereby appoint you as the new permanent Director of the Department of Extranormal Operations and, effective immediately, do transfer all authority over the department to you. Congratulations, Director Danvers."

*

Maggie introduced Kelly to Alex for real, after the gang had met up at the bar to celebrate Alex's official promotion. James had asked if he could bring Kelly and Alex had said sure.

"Alex," she said, "Alex, this is Kelly Olsen."

Alex stood up with a smile and held out her hand. "I know," she said. "Nice to meet you, Kelly."

"It's a pleasure to finally meet the real you, Alex," she replied, shaking her hand. "I, uh… wow, sorry." She pulled her hand back and shook her head. "I mean, you told me," she said to Maggie, "but I didn't quite get how real-seeming the Martian was until now." She exhaled. "That's wild."

"It's uncanny, right?" Maggie asked.

She nodded. "Sorry, Alex, I wasn't expecting to get hit with a wave of feelings." She scrunched up her face. "I should probably go before this gets more awkward."

Alex shook her head. "No, stay. Please," she smiled. "You've been awesome with Maggie and with Kara. The least I can do is buy you a drink for taking care of my girls for me."

"Well, okay. Maybe one drink," Kelly replied.

*

Brainy congratulated her on getting him to help them get to the Martian later that evening.

"As you may or may not be aware, Detective, I am a 12th level intellect."

She chuckled. "I'm aware, yes, Brainy."

"I realized recently that I had never congratulated you."

"For what?"

"For  _ somehow  _ manipulating me into aiding you and Alex in getting to the desert base." He frowned. "I am still unsure how this transpired. I have reviewed my memories of the conversation and I still cannot pinpoint how you changed my mind. Well-done, Detective."

She grinned. "Why thank you, Brainy." She swigged at her beer. "As to how I did it, it's called soft skills."

"Soft skills," he repeated. "Thank you, Detective, I shall investigate this avenue."

"Anytime," she chuckled.

*

They bought new engagement rings together and walked down the street from the jeweler's, hand in hand, giddily in love.

*

Gertrude wagged her tail and ferociously attacked Alex's boots, while Alex was wearing them, and the two of them laughed until their sides ached.

*

They planned their wedding in just under three months, feeling as though they'd already wasted enough time not being married.

*

Maggie and Alex said "I do" to one another, in front of their friends and selected family.

*

During their honeymoon, they made love late into the night, slept in 'till noon and lazed around the pool together.

*

They came home to find that even a superhero babysitter couldn't prevent Gertrude from destroying three couch pillows and peeing on the living room rug twice while they were away.

*

On the morning after a night at the bar, during which the group had celebrated the one-year anniversary since Alex's rescue, Maggie woke up thanks to the sunshine streaming in through the window. It was still early, a glance at the clock confirmed. She turned over on her side and smiled as she slid her hand over her wife's hip to rest on her stomach. Still mostly asleep, Alex's hand covered Maggie's. At their feet, Gertrude snored.

Maggie had never been happier in her life. To think, it had just been one year ago that Kara had texted her, just a year ago since she'd seen Alex at the DEO looking so frail So many of the most significant moments of her life had happened since that day — getting back together with Alex, buying the house, proposing, moving into the house, getting Gertrude, having their wedding…

As she burrowed closer to Alex, her nose nudging Alex's neck and inhaling her scent with each breath, a quote from Ray Bradbury came to mind.

_ The years go by. The time, it does fly. Every single second is a moment in time that passes. And it seems like nothing — but when you're looking back… well, it amounts to everything. _

And with that, she fell back to sleep, her arm around her wife, their dog at their feet, determined to make each of those moments count.


End file.
